k 30
! KLINSMAN
if i won the lottery i'd get jurgen klinsman to LivingwellMews
which is my house my house my house
id shack up with him have his children
and call them all Rouse Rouse Stanleyrouse Stanleyrouse
id have to keep an eye on him 'cos jurgen he's prone
prone to making impromptu exits impromptu exits
to fleeing the battleground and heading for open spaces
that agrophobic ag - ro - pho -bic
y' see fighting is in his blood
according to my stepdad's step step stepdad
he should know he caters for the britisharmy
in Munching-Gladbach Munching - Gladbach
i'd have to shell out a lot of money for jurgen
clear out the back shed to store his volkswagen beetle
and i'd lock up my powerHouse in the back room
cos they'd never think to look there for Him
those nosey ! nosey people ! ! people
we'd perform highlights from Romeo & Juliet
to no-one in particular in particular
we'd do 45 shows on the trot : Me as Mercutio
and jurgen as Romeo Romeo . . Oh ! Romeo
and then we'd change (a)round just so i could whisper into his ear :
! Oh Noble ! KLINS - MAN !!
mind you if ever our performances
took an unexpected dive dive !! nosedive
i'd sell him tho' i might not get a lot back
for a hasbeenham hasbeenham like jurgen
but i'd hang onto his car though
'cos they're dead reliable / ? aren't they the volkswagen !
TOYE KLINSMEN
alan & alice Kar
Jeremies klarkson/hunt/kyle
El Stinkymen-O
Tuesday 30 April 2013
30
K
wake up. mmm, have a taste for something savoury and foreign. mmm . guacamole dip . ...
. .. no, taramasalata ... mmm .. no, red pepper hummus . .. mmm . . no, ALL of them ! Yes
so i crank up my popemobile and drive down to TheOneStopShop ( i dont tend to fly these days, too much
of a luxury ) where, luckily, they stock all three of my dips ... and they're ! on offer
i grab them quickly before they go pay the shopkeeper and exit.
as i'm driving home, i glance at my three mouthwatering dips through my rear-view mirror but! they're not there . . on the back seat where i left them ! they're not there !! and then i see them receding
backing away from me . .. from ME ! like retreating soldiers trying to squeeze thro' the safety-gate
and into the boot space.
panicked, i screech to a halt. as i do so, the three savoury and foreign dips go a'flyin'! ;
one or more of the pots break open ; stuff spills out. bewildered, i spin the popemobile around and hurtle back to the OneStopShop for an explanation
in the shop, i describe events to the shopkeeper who is nodding in an understanding way
All 3 dips you say ? . . !yes . . Receding from your view like ... !yes ..
Well it's simple ?innit ! affirm the shopkeeper You're the victim of Triple-Dip-Recession I'm afraid !..
but i thought we were free of .. T D R ?! i groan.
Not all of us, popeKoo,! the shopkeeper replies, with meloncolly not ! all of us
and what about the mess in the back of my popemobile .. moan i . . i mean ..
Oh ! come on, pK, the shopkeeper retort, Your'e a Bird of The Cloth,, you're surely better suited than most to sort it
Pk
! Tara - ma - Salata !
Zip grip slip she dip
she dip and then Toodle-pip!
my Salata quip
ANON / TRAD
aktually we vote for GUACAMOLE
Francis Offer !Si Si !
Moley's - In - Kent
You hummus it son ! i . . (we) 'll play it
BENE the DIP ( theratSinger ) /
demi sroussos
demi ! More
Demijohn - TheBaptist
demisexual
the T.D.R
DEPP ! DEPP ! (jonny) DEPP
My deputy and I on :
The Triple Depp Recession
KAMMERLEG
billy two-rivers
Hands Solo
theGangof 4
K
wake up. mmm, have a taste for something savoury and foreign. mmm . guacamole dip . ...
. .. no, taramasalata ... mmm .. no, red pepper hummus . .. mmm . . no, ALL of them ! Yes
so i crank up my popemobile and drive down to TheOneStopShop ( i dont tend to fly these days, too much
of a luxury ) where, luckily, they stock all three of my dips ... and they're ! on offer
i grab them quickly before they go pay the shopkeeper and exit.
as i'm driving home, i glance at my three mouthwatering dips through my rear-view mirror but! they're not there . . on the back seat where i left them ! they're not there !! and then i see them receding
backing away from me . .. from ME ! like retreating soldiers trying to squeeze thro' the safety-gate
and into the boot space.
panicked, i screech to a halt. as i do so, the three savoury and foreign dips go a'flyin'! ;
one or more of the pots break open ; stuff spills out. bewildered, i spin the popemobile around and hurtle back to the OneStopShop for an explanation
in the shop, i describe events to the shopkeeper who is nodding in an understanding way
All 3 dips you say ? . . !yes . . Receding from your view like ... !yes ..
Well it's simple ?innit ! affirm the shopkeeper You're the victim of Triple-Dip-Recession I'm afraid !..
but i thought we were free of .. T D R ?! i groan.
Not all of us, popeKoo,! the shopkeeper replies, with meloncolly not ! all of us
and what about the mess in the back of my popemobile .. moan i . . i mean ..
Oh ! come on, pK, the shopkeeper retort, Your'e a Bird of The Cloth,, you're surely better suited than most to sort it
Pk
! Tara - ma - Salata !
Zip grip slip she dip
she dip and then Toodle-pip!
my Salata quip
ANON / TRAD
aktually we vote for GUACAMOLE
Francis Offer !Si Si !
Moley's - In - Kent
You hummus it son ! i . . (we) 'll play it
BENE the DIP ( theratSinger ) /
demi sroussos
demi ! More
Demijohn - TheBaptist
demisexual
the T.D.R
DEPP ! DEPP ! (jonny) DEPP
My deputy and I on :
The Triple Depp Recession
KAMMERLEG
billy two-rivers
Hands Solo
theGangof 4
Monday 29 April 2013
. .. and, like Harvey Denton, they are hoist by their own pet toad . . .
When the radio announcer,
elevated
by luscious self-loathing,
argued strongly
over the music, raised their voice
over the applause,
they were oblivious
to several things :
(1) the audience did not clap
(2) the performance
in question had been
4 / 33 by John Cage
. . .. . and, like Withnail and I, the PFA have failed to paint it black
When boohoo-ballplayers built on pussyboob and pissup boo publicly a boohiss-ballplayer
admittedly
I'm dimfuck left dumstruck at the depths plumbed in pummering
hypocrisy
PASTOR HENRY FROG
K29
K29
PayPal judge : I meant NOUGHT ! .. .. Nul ! Points .. and that goes for French films !
just as much as Norway's Eurovision entries
Prayed out. Put feet up
with my bird. Watch Amour,
winner Palme D'or last year.
Feel very sad
for old man and old lady,
both roles played beautifully.
But just as sad
for that pigeon who doesn't
make most of walk-on parts.
hk
PayPal judge : I meant NOUGHT ! .. .. Nul ! Points .. and that goes for French films !
just as much as Norway's Eurovision entries
Prayed out. Put feet up
with my bird. Watch Amour,
winner Palme D'or last year.
Feel very sad
for old man and old lady,
both roles played beautifully.
But just as sad
for that pigeon who doesn't
make most of walk-on parts.
hk
Sunday 28 April 2013
Saturday 27 April 2013
papal ! juggernaut
K27 (STO)
now i should explain in the first instance that what they requested was not a 'papal juggernaut'
as such, but more a 'papal carrier', and thats not a carrier as in 'pigeon', but more a carrier as in 'large(r) car'
if you get me drift . .. and when i refer to 'papal juggernaut' i'm usin' that in a metaforikal sense (of course!)
and not literally .. in that it create the idea of something having an irresistible drive or irreversible-thrust
or some such
so, to get back to it, what i definitely heard was a request for a 'papal' carrier butt what i didn't twig
at the time actually was that because the request was being delivered in a rather peculiar accent
(to say the least) that smacked of 'Brummie' or 'BlackCountry' or somesuch . that what was really
being requested was a 'people' carrier of course .
nor was i likely to twig that those Brummie or BlackCountry somesuches don't actually have any kinda
metaforikal sense at all, not really, because everything - and i mean ! everything - is literal to them !
so to cut a long story short as such what we ended up sending out to those clients was naturally / literally
a papal juggernaut . .. . ?! hows that for irony
now i'm not going to say WHAT pope ended up being ferried around in that juggernaut on His popelike tour
of TheMidlands and some suche ; thats not my job to ruffle any more feathers in the hornet's nest - i leave
that to them journalists
but what i can say truly is that when that papaljuggernaut rolled in to the depot,
it was literally covered in bird shit .
Y TEKNNO-MILES, Ed.
? What Juggernaut - A sub-division of TheEddieStobartDvivision
Y.Teknno-Miles was talking to Sikment Loyne of !HOLY SKANK
K27
papal judgement
woke up. laptop broke. pissed off. got pissed.
borrowed typewriter. even more pissed.
typewriter letters F & K broke. even more pissed off.
and yet more pissed.
wrote to Francis who's been pissin' me off.
here is typewritten letter:
Dear rancis
! or uc sa e, just uc o ! !
(I'm the next-new Pope, !NOT you
Not the widely-tipped rancis
but the wingly-tipped OO !
Many than s
The High oo
awaiting reply as we speak.
jean hackman / the HK
ha-ha-ha/boom-boom
new season new kid new broom
The New Kid On The Block's piece
is well received by critics
who perceive
that The Kid's nod to Wood to Glass
is immaterial
to its success
KLYEMIN TONES / NOTES
MY 'N' SELEKTION
BASIL BRUSH
!Hahaha - broom!Broom
Friday 26 April 2013
Sidekik-Sally Spektrovik
& theFryFamily present proudly
K 27
the Dream of 16 ( revisit )
so i had a dream, a series of dream, which seem all about NUMBERS -
that is the numbers 16 17 . . ....
and in this series of dream a dilemma, serrated-edged mean :
which proceed as follows :
if Larryhagman dreamed of Jeannie
and D-Ream was dreamin' of reamin' the wrong Coxy
did (sir)Edwardelgar
dream of Gerontius ? well, maybe
tho' while in Younger days
His policy was to gerron2it
in daysofOldness
twas more gerroff&milkit and charlie's Unanswered-Question :
Will the KnightHood come before the Bus Pass
and ? in what order
so to make sense of this mess
i had a dream, a series of dream: That Haiku's last beat - number 17
smell Death ;
from here-on-in less obscene would it be to dream of 16
Lord Freddy of Garrity, Laker & Flintstone
KikiK bite appalling our 7-year-old Boy state theKammerleg
I aint bin so apawled since i seen (the)kamerleg on t.v says Boy
tele kymonnis /
Kojak (Lt.)
KLOSET ENNYMI
we send our sincerest condolences to JLS
the Konjoined-Quads Boyband
after their messy split
Milo/Moli Tenensky / theKammerleg
.. in witch we show little surprise at the lack of collective responsibility and
proper consistency displayed by the FA
the same body who consistently
turn a blind-eye to the Fergusongod and who were responsible
for hiring Ted Croaker
Pastor Henry Frog IN MY SKELETON
the story (so far) of ( !Lol ) KikiK (loL !), floored genius
it has come to our attention that a certain Dago footballer (as above) more sooted to Dayglow parties
than football parks, has added to his list of crimes&misdemeanors by bitin' a Chelski-star . . .
sooting an already sullied, footy reputation . .
it has also come to our notice that some people are crying in their beards over KikiK's 'heavy' punishment,
contrasting this to the case of another chelskiSuperstar, a certain Mr johnTerry . ...
well, !let us say this in no certain terms :
(1) the curtain's up, the curtain's drawn on KikiK ; the latest skulldingo is surely a bridge2far !?
(2) mrjohnTerry had no choice BUT to be a racist!! The evidence is clear, and we have Kolin Fry to thank for
this.. As you'll know, Kolin is a lifelong Chelski fan - ! he has spent a lot of energy contacting The Dead,
to see if they might be prepared 2come2StamfordBridge (not ! waynebridge ) and give this place a bit of
atmosphere ( LOL) - and thought he could help out in the JT 'affair ' . . ..
Well, to this effect, K contacted an old, spiritualist mate, a middlin' medium from Estonia,
Sidekik Sally Spektrovik, who exactly 10 years ago to this day (almost!), contacted the
ghost-of-footballer/manager Barry Fry ( related/not related to KF ..and not officially deceased,
but declared 'dead' when taking the Director of Football job at Peterborough United )
Anyhoo to cut a long story shorts, the Fry-ghost was able to provide Spektrovik with premonitory
interrogative, in Estonian as it happen and electronically kommunicated :
Tere , kas sa kuuled mind ? ( estonian)
Terry, have you lost your fukkin mind? (english )
indood, this is to be the first known newfangled-communique sent - april 2003 - via Skype,
the brainchild of an AustralianBushKangaroo, which carry some ironik in that it refer to . .
. . the future skype/captainFantazmagorikal of Chelski FC
( Chelski FC, a Full history : From chopperHarris 2 Rolfharris )
(Wiggins-Minogue)
And it premonites of course JT's racial abuse of Ferdinand Magellan ten years hence ( or so )
which, as stated, was out of john's control, being written-in-the-stars 'n all . . .
and for which - which is important here - He received proper and just punishment (of course!)
- k 26 - KOMEN YELTSIN-ABRAMOVICH ; NINE MOLESTKY
InMySkeleton
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