Thoughts of Koo
Monday 11 December 2017
?! WHAT DO WE WANT
VISUAL ARTIST FEMALE FROM THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
!? WHY DO WE WANT
SO SHE CAN BE A HOPPY,
A COMPADRE IN THE SILENT MONKEY FARRANGO,
AN ASSOCIATE MEMBER OF THE FOUR SUSANS CONCEPT,
TOURING THE UK IN MARCH, 2018,
AND THE WORLD (well ! some of it ) IN LATE 2018
?! WHEN DO WE WANT
NOW ( !please)
Contact:
Simon Kentley
c/o its_a_dead_doc@hushmail.me
- no ? Doc
- no !Kolee
- but what if something goes wrong ? ! and there's no Doc to
- something has gone wrong Kolee very ! wrong
- ?what you chattin' on Prof
- it's the Doc Kolee ! done for
- what you mean ? like O ! NO ! IT CANT BE !shirley not
- i'm afraid so
born under a comet
just like Cheggers
died under the same comet
just like Cheggers
only minutes between them too
in age apparently
- comet still going ! ? then
- as of today !yes
- well ! thats the last time I go and spend all my hard-earned cash
buying up the store
!bargains-of-all-bargains indood
likwidation my ! ass
- of course it's not just Doc and Cheggers who were comet-afflicted
Mark Twain was too ?y'know the writer of Huck Finn that is
very different time and place mind ! you
- the geeza wot writ that story ?! 'bout the killer shark
well there's a guy whats spend too much time in comet ! suresure
he so had it comin' 2 'im !! if u ask me
- we've all got it coming to us Ms ?Ynnit !
and today of all daze .
- ?! can anyone be more sorely missed than Chegz
- sorely not
- and can anyone ? be mssin' Chegz more than us
more than moi ! sindood
- sorely so
-
- i dont think anyone is missin Chegz more than the peeps
in the Vatikan imho ! even us to boot tbph
- ?! the Vatikan
- !yup you never watched Cheggers Plays Pope then
obviosly when you was? growin' up
-
- ? ! d'u have a fave mo u'd like 2 share
from The DOOD i meen
- d'u meen Chegz or ? theDoc !actualy
- well either reely tbph
- well in that case then !yuss i do
imho 'twas that quiz show they don in the abso buff naked ?
! rememba
co-compered with that bigbrownfuzybear from Rainbow
-
- o(H!) The Naked Bungle ! ?remember
-
- o(!H) we didna know weather to laff or cry we ! didna
- butt wen we did finally know
we ended up laffin' and/or cryin' so much
that we diddna no wether we were laffin/cryin'
at or with(e)
- m!m(H)m
at or with(e) Chegz ?
at or with(e) theDoc ! sindood
-
Sunday 10 December 2017
WHEN 4
when called too tangent(i)al
he blast out the sun ray lamp
! hellymental
when called t(w)(o)o tangenital
their re-shaped underpants
prove essential
when his work lamb(l)asted
he round up the sheep and UV them
drastic !
when UV Ray join UV(F)
glimmer of hope
drowned in prottie Faith
taken from
when the River end In Paisley
Catholic Scots
be hung out to dry
THE DOC
Friday 8 December 2017
?Y : !O(h) you aint 'eard the news have you Prof ? shirley otherwise you wooden still have a face like a slapped 'orse
L :
?Y : its been on FoxRoundTheKlox plus HouseyHousey the noo
internet station coming from the Palace you must have caught it ?! sikment
L : Well unless you tell me, Ms ?Ynnit, that the human race has been given a stay of execution in being put out of its interminable misery after Ye-Olde-Farte and Kimmy Long-One owned up to their secret love affair
or that Pat Riarchy is a dead duck now that Riarchy
has renounced Catholicism and all children called Pat;
unless you can tell me that, Ms ?Ynnit, then ! well
?Y :
L : So what's the news ? ! please advise pray
?Y : well Gods been listening to my suplements afty all I can't believe it cant believe you dunt know it neither
it's Ted been given a night-hood-MBE
TED ! for cristsake i tell ya
L : !?Bundy ? ! Rogers
?Y : Nah Sheerdan stoopid! Ted Sheerdan ! got an MBE ?didnt it? WAH!OO u really !? aint 'erd ?
L : No. The Nursery Nonce wasn't delivered today due to inclement weather
?Y :
L : Look!, I'm really pleased for you of course but before
you get too carried away, Kolee, I should warn you that your
much admired 'MBE' is more malignant than you might give it credit for; it may not be all its cracked up to be
(and by this I don't mean some six-year-old recipient
going against protocol, stroking the Prince's cheek,
then inserting the insignia up somewhere insurmountable)
?Y : i dont believ you Sik !! first of all Prince was never
nighted neitha dead nor alive imho
and third he werent no royal thats for shirley
butt beside that i find your attitude re royalty
both specialy and in general well a tad disrespectful tbph
L : mmH!Mmm of course ?Y, you do know what the akro MBE
actually stand for, I presume, and it's got abso nothing to do with Ted Sheerdan being a 'Member'.
But it is part & parcel of another story, a much bigger story,
a personal s
?Y : well just shuthefukup! and gerron'wi'it then
I aint a clue as2wot yer bangin' on abutt tbah
so juss give us yer story !will'ya ?yeah
(s)O(!h) do tell - prey
where Sikment Loyne (Prof. ) tell Kolee ?Ynnit ( Ms.)
the real meaning of the MBE
as well as its and his own relationship to Ted Sheerdon
( and the Doc look on
in case anything go wrong )
L :
?Y : its been on FoxRoundTheKlox plus HouseyHousey the noo
internet station coming from the Palace you must have caught it ?! sikment
L : Well unless you tell me, Ms ?Ynnit, that the human race has been given a stay of execution in being put out of its interminable misery after Ye-Olde-Farte and Kimmy Long-One owned up to their secret love affair
or that Pat Riarchy is a dead duck now that Riarchy
has renounced Catholicism and all children called Pat;
unless you can tell me that, Ms ?Ynnit, then ! well
?Y :
L : So what's the news ? ! please advise pray
?Y : well Gods been listening to my suplements afty all I can't believe it cant believe you dunt know it neither
it's Ted been given a night-hood-MBE
TED ! for cristsake i tell ya
L : !?Bundy ? ! Rogers
?Y : Nah Sheerdan stoopid! Ted Sheerdan ! got an MBE ?didnt it? WAH!OO u really !? aint 'erd ?
L : No. The Nursery Nonce wasn't delivered today due to inclement weather
?Y :
L : Look!, I'm really pleased for you of course but before
you get too carried away, Kolee, I should warn you that your
much admired 'MBE' is more malignant than you might give it credit for; it may not be all its cracked up to be
(and by this I don't mean some six-year-old recipient
going against protocol, stroking the Prince's cheek,
then inserting the insignia up somewhere insurmountable)
?Y : i dont believ you Sik !! first of all Prince was never
nighted neitha dead nor alive imho
and third he werent no royal thats for shirley
butt beside that i find your attitude re royalty
both specialy and in general well a tad disrespectful tbph
L : mmH!Mmm of course ?Y, you do know what the akro MBE
actually stand for, I presume, and it's got abso nothing to do with Ted Sheerdan being a 'Member'.
But it is part & parcel of another story, a much bigger story,
a personal s
?Y : well just shuthefukup! and gerron'wi'it then
I aint a clue as2wot yer bangin' on abutt tbah
so juss give us yer story !will'ya ?yeah
(s)O(!h) do tell - prey
where Sikment Loyne (Prof. ) tell Kolee ?Ynnit ( Ms.)
the real meaning of the MBE
as well as its and his own relationship to Ted Sheerdon
( and the Doc look on
in case anything go wrong )
Wednesday 6 December 2017
some time some plaice
later or sooner who knows ?! really
t b p h
EL STINKYMENO : we have to say Kolee about Sikment that he erm
well ?! hasn't he aged
?YNNIT (ms.) : ?From when to when exactly
EL S : well from the last time we saw him of course
he's not looking so well itbk
?Y : Death does that to you suresure and he's starting to whiff a bit too
but that cant be helped you'll get used just that no-one could bare dispose of him let alone touch him death does that to you
dont? you know ! sorry 'bout the smell btw
EL S : o(!h) we we hadn't well its
?Y : The sarnies you see think the fish ! may have gone sorry
abbrev. extract
taken from an original short story:
WHEN SOLE FUCK OFF
BODY LEFT HANG OUT TO DRY
COME HELL OR HIGH WATER !
Monty Le Sinke (pub)
Slinkynet Emo (ed.)
We find Jean Hackman in consultation with Kolee ?Ynnit(ms)
The tone is a serious one.
Hackman is dutifully supported by Lt. Monkiesyne, in an official capacity, and by The Doc, in case anything goes wrong.
H bends down on creaky knee to a video player and inserts a cassette
H : gesturing to cassette box Professor Loyne bequeathed this to you
Lt. M : !He didn't just give you erudition, K
Doc : !No, gave U a VHS too
H : (!H)mmm yes thanks er Doc Let's just watch it, shall ? we
the video plays Powerful memories ?!eh, Ms?Y
?Y : Bit shaky isn't? it
H : It was taken on a hand-held. It's what you'd expect really.
Touching though, don't ?you think
Still it's legacy, Kolee, at the end of the day. !Legacy
?Y : I thought it was Vivaldi actually tho' t b p h it's very difficult to hear the music
properly above all that din
H: Ah, picket lines then were not what they are now. Dangerous times, y'see, Kol,
dangerous times. Socio-p;olitico-historico: Form & content; content & context; context & That's our heritage then
?Y : Hairy tashes certainly in abundance suresure
H : Well solidarity, brotherhood
?Y : And sisterhood too it would seem
H : Ah! the lot of the miner, ms ?Ynnit, ne'er a happy one
?Y : And !bugger weren't there a lot of them miners
H :
?Y : Though those little ones were hefty back then indeed ! but still good to see that all that
drink & drugs form the olden daze hadn't stunted growth. Or anger.
H :
?Y : And ! what do you make of that fishwoman?, so much in demand, so loved apparently
H :
Here, as we hear Maggie!!Maggie!!Maggie!!TROUT!TROUT!TROUT! screamed out, seemingly, ad-infinitum,
Kolee ?Ynnit(ms) take her leave and leaves
with her collie dog, Keef-Or-Sutherland, whom she addresses:
Come on Keef / Sutherland ! Tis be tyme for us to go watch 24 (Season 23),
you bad dog, you ! ! pissin' all over Jean Hackman's boots
Toni Skylemen look on, serioso
Tuesday 5 December 2017
LOYNE : How's the collie's collywobbles, ?! Kolee
?YNNIT : d'ya mean hows ? me deaddog doin' since it passed into dead ?
OR ?? !! HAV U FORGOT ? agin
or ?!how am I doin' havin' to face me dogz dead all on me loansome
with no reel or ooman support well just no reel suport
'cuz u aint ooman really are? U Sik ! you pompuss facefuk
i meen yer dont have the ooman feelins that oomans have do ? yer not ! reely !
LOYNE : Well, I'm sorry if
?YNNIT : well yor not are yer so shutthefukup!kunt sorry i meen not reely
not sorry enuff anywize leavin me all alone to face the hole cahoots
and all them unresolved implikashuns
thats wots amaze me with all yer so-called professed astonishings
that yer cudden even give the time o day at such a crisal skuldugin
LOYNE : Well you weren't strictly alone. I mean, ?!what about your parrot O(!h) I
?YNNIT : yeh well JUSS PISS OFF !SKWAKMONGER ! O no u said it now cuz
ya dunt even rememba that do?yer that you YOU were responsiv at that
sad-olde-byrds demise witch go 2 back up all i say in a heartstop
tbpb its a case in proof your not all their Loyne never was & never hasbeen
and when Kolee and her colly mite of need a pal wanted u allpallydoolly
u were awol !? innit & on the pissrol sindood
LOYNE : Well I
?YNNIT : and heres anotha fing you u stickUpthearse twatprof b / y / a / m
that dog shat over me in ways u cudden get close to cud only dream off
and thats not even 'alf of it tbpb
LOYNE :
Saturday 2 December 2017
?Y : How was the gig on the boat the other night !? Sikment
L : Well I could say it was a bit of a washout
and they won't touch us again with a barge mm!hm butt that would be
disingenuous to the canal folk
?Y :
L : The jury's out in terms of how many of the audience were in it for the long haul tbph
and how many actually had got the slightest clue as to w t f was going on;
we decided to take a straw pole in the end
?Y :
L : Tbph a barge pole made out of straw isn't the most efficacious thing in the world
so they were hardly going to miss it ?! were they
?Y :
L : Butt it's one in the eye at least for East European migrant farm labour figures
?Y :
L : Well I could say it was a bit of a washout
and they won't touch us again with a barge mm!hm butt that would be
disingenuous to the canal folk
?Y :
L : The jury's out in terms of how many of the audience were in it for the long haul tbph
and how many actually had got the slightest clue as to w t f was going on;
we decided to take a straw pole in the end
?Y :
L : Tbph a barge pole made out of straw isn't the most efficacious thing in the world
so they were hardly going to miss it ?! were they
?Y :
L : Butt it's one in the eye at least for East European migrant farm labour figures
?Y :
Thursday 30 November 2017
And then Ms Kolee ?Ynnit said : weve not done so bad ?y'know since our first show when just a man and a dog showed up
And Professor Sikment Loyne said nothing.
And then ?Ynnit said : cuz by the next time wed got otis & tosi there and bill murray showed up ?rememba with that mate
?yknow that karakter who go thro' the same day again and again
as a dog ....oh yeah . . spaniel day lewis ! innit
And Loyne said nothing.
And then ?Ynnit said : and soon peeps are literaly floodin in to our shows and sudenly audience figures have gone thro' the woof
And Loyne said nothing.
taken from
AND THIS IS WHAT WAS SAID
by
Yomti Kennels
YeSilentMonk & Nostlikeymen
And Professor Sikment Loyne said nothing.
And then ?Ynnit said : cuz by the next time wed got otis & tosi there and bill murray showed up ?rememba with that mate
?yknow that karakter who go thro' the same day again and again
as a dog ....oh yeah . . spaniel day lewis ! innit
And Loyne said nothing.
And then ?Ynnit said : and soon peeps are literaly floodin in to our shows and sudenly audience figures have gone thro' the woof
And Loyne said nothing.
taken from
AND THIS IS WHAT WAS SAID
by
Yomti Kennels
YeSilentMonk & Nostlikeymen
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