Monday, 21 January 2013
! HULA - HULA SKUNK ! 5 / 2 / 13
SIC TRANSIT GLORIA OMNIBUS
PER ARDUA AD ASTRABUS
NUNCLE-UNCLE KIDDIFIDDLABUS
!
Pope's words reverberate around Vatican
Abuse enquiry findings leave Church traumatised:
Priest discovered who hasn't interfered with children
A stunned Pope today abandoned His popemobile, speeding out of
TheVatican in His souped-up VauxhallAstra. He screamed:
Okay, yes, so we've found a priest who can safely talk about priest holes
without other things being re(a)d into it . !?. but that's not the point here, really
?is it .. I mean these findings have left us all with a very nasty taste in the mouth .
Gloria Gaynor / PHF / Charlie Drake
Steemin Onkyl
?KIDDIFIDDLABUS ! ! KIDDIFIDDLABUS ?
SHOOTEMUPANUS WITHMYBLUNDERBUSS
!
Charlton Heston
Dear Mr Heston-Charlton
Thanks for that.
! We agree! That's the only way to deal with the Saville Crowd, as TheKammerleg and I jokingly call them ...
That aside, can? we put on record here our approval of your reasoned, nay reasonable approach to gun
worship. May we also add that we are both massive fans of your work !? - El Cid remains our very
favourite film of all time . .. and not far behind this, of course, the sequel: Well ?! Sid , that incisive study
of Sid James' doomed affair with HattyJakes in a Benidorm time-share; a film for which, if we remember correctly,
you were nominated for BestActor . . . ... and Best Actress !
On a more serious note, we must refer you to The Blunder Bus , to which you refer (above.)
Let us say this here and now : We are going to need the vehicle back asap really (! if that's okay with you)
You see, Errol , the thing is there's an election coming up not-far-round-the-corner-and-over-the-horizon.
And The Blunder Bus is indisputably indispensable to us touring around the country on our election drive.
We are sure you understand.
Many thanks in anticipation.
(The) Kammerleg
HULA-HULA !HUHNE 7 . 2 . 13
PUNTS !
Punts mean Pryce's ! A Disgraced Minister's Ex confesses:
Look,! this is the point: He had my pants, I took his punts.
How is that fair ?! I ask you. But he deserved it !
Y'see, every time I tried to pin him down, to get him to face
up to his responsibilities, he'd speed off down The River Cam in
one of his souped-up punts, just to avoid me ! .. ME ! !
so I took all of his wretched boats, ? didn't I .. !
Of course, he didn't believe I could stoop so low, but he'd driven
me to it. LOOK ! I TOOK YOUR PUNTS
I'd scream at him but he wouldn't hear it ..
I TOOK YOUR . . (still he wasn't listening )
FUCKING PUNTS !
Notley Sinkem
sirs WalterRaleigh&JackLemmon
lance armstrong
Hunt
writ 2 jeremy hunt saying:
sikness
interfere with my speling
hunt writ back
saying 1 in 4 people get WinterVomiting !
Fact
1 in 4 people
have literacy issues - also Fact .
!! go figure
MONTELENY SIK
AARON SPELLING kim jong-IL
CLARITY BEGIN AT HOME
25 years of Red Nose
erase social inequality
SO
Thank ! God NO !! Thank Grace
We aint been exposed
2 just such years of RedFace .
Menkl Noseyit TheVikarOfDibley
Toni Yesmenkl Edmund Blackadder
THE (UN)ANSWERED QUESTION(s)
the Question raised on television:
? does northern ireland give a bad name to Religion
i turn on its head
and re-frame ( it ) instead:
? does Religion give a bad name to justabouteverything that fall under its jurisdiction
which i answer
with anotherQuestion :
is the pope A katholik ?!
( OR Can a duck swim ?) in secular invention
YE SILENT MO (N) K
KLOSET ENNYMI
Jims Davidson&Trott
The SkippyTheBushKangarooHelpline Trust
Rolf Harris Way
Kroyden
NICKED
When the snows fall
their view of the media as a means
of mass control
succumb to drift .
And to that Cold-Brit-Logik : who's nicked ?
the fuckin(g) grit !?
Nik Yesmolten ; NickGriffin ; nicholas cage
If the Weld realey doth ende on 21/12/12
all of those wordes writ afterwardes
e.g. the 21 daye of the verey next monthe (21/1/13) be
- not(t) 2 putte 2 fine a poynte on it - prettymuchemeaninglesse
If the Weld realey doth NOT ende on 21/12/12
all of those wordes writ afterwardes
e.g. the 21 daye of the verey next monthe (21/1/13) be
- not(t) 2 putte 2 fine a poynte on it - prettymuchemeaninglesse
NOSTLIKEYMEN (Jim Davidson: TheDoctorWho Years )
Thanks! for that, N.
There come a time when Time is of no consequence. That time is now.
?So why not pick a day when all events past, present and future, are seen to happen during
that same 24 hours !?
All news thus is of significance and of no significance, and rolls into one giant ball of
meaningfulness and meaninglessness . . ... .
Such is this day : January 21, 2013; exactly one month after TheEndOfTheWorld (as we knew it.)
It's as good a day as any.
Sikment Loyne
31.1.12
SIKMENT LOYNE : So, !let's be absolutely clear here, can we ?Ms ?Ynnit . . ..
OpraWinfeeTV paid you lots of money to interview a world-famous cyclist !?
and, with millions watching, to ask Him extremelysearchingquestions .. .
Why . .. ? ..
KOLEE ?YNNIT(MS): Well, first in 4most, I think they wanted to give people like me .. people of
my kolor I meen. To give us a chance to shine !? innit
SL : People who are sun-lamp rouge ? I take it
K?Y : . .. !YEAH . . What ? ! . .
SL : In the interview, you got on to drugs of course .. pretty quickly !
K?Y : Yeah. A bit of speed neva dun no one no 'arm ?didit ! innit? .. Look. ! I neaded summat
to get me thro 2 cope with the presure .. You wont tell nobody !will ya Sik !?
i meen .. It did'nt show didit ( innit) ?
SL : .. . . No, Kolee .. ! No slip was showing at all. . ...
Aside of the fact that your grammar was quite perfect, you kept calling Him Biggles ,
and your obvious reference to the Tueur de France had everyone thinking
you were talking about Sarkozy. Apart from that . .. !hmmm !
K?Y ... . ! What ? .. YEAH . . !
The Interview
K?Y(ms): speedily At any point (since the Tueur de France) have you (Biggles ) met with Sue Barker ?
WorldFamousCyclist: . . pause .. Yes.
K ?Y : speedily At any time during these meeting(s) did you ( Biggles) refer to her as Susan ?
WFC : .. . pause . . Yes.
K ?Y : speedily And is it true that in one such meeting you ( Biggles ) called her Susan four times
. ?.. . earning her thenceforth the title TheFourSusans ?!
WFC : .. pause ... Yes.
the sic(k) bird surround the outlawed truck and salivate
predator lie still.
Prey jump on the band-wagon ( sic)
'til made ill-egal .
taken from ThePastorHenryFrogTravelBlog:
Hitting the road: Me, Eddie StowBart
& the secreted Simpson boy
(Frog/Davidson Ed.)
The conjoined twins Milo & Moli Tenensky refer to their rancorous split
and their final tour which preceded it.
!Look, we were touring Cornwall with our JimDavidsonTributeAct - LAD'S END - y''know. ..
I guess the stress got to us really to be honest. We had such mighty rows about the best
way to ' do ' James (Davidson), so we settled on a routine which suggested two caring fathers
chastising a shitty child .. . . Patter familiar and all that . .
Patter too-fucking-familiar if you ask us ... . me
MILO TENENSKY MOLI TENENSKY
Separation Should not be Seen Solely as an act of Science
the ( )wingle ( )inger( )
.. .!? but should a sole ( sic) be seen separately as an act of Guppy Love ? !
PastorHenryFrog
* taken from Let The Frog Follow The Fish : In Search Of Aguppy Love (Frog/Guppy ed.)
! I'M JUST VERY CONFUSED !
Claudia WingleMan / Ally McCoist
Thus, when William Wallace ( Braveheart ) return to his clan after his wee wanderings,
it strikes me that had his old friend's mighty boulder landed on him rather than just
miss him, then Scottish football might have turned out very differently . . .. !
SIEN KOMENTLY
- We're just very confused, ?aren't we boys ?! ..? Gary .. Ally ?
- Oh! aye, John . ... Oh aye !
Motsyn-Lineke/
Lineke-Motsyn ally mccoist
if broadcast news bore any semblance of truth, we'd all be richard nixon's Lovechild
On sixth pip . . . . . news off! .
Arkwright serve well ; head-spinning
hearty nursey stuff
Ronnie Barker Menkl Noseyit
Susan Barker Toni Yesmenkl
Leo & Oli Nitemynks Oli & Lio Semen-Kynt
OILY SKANK 26. 1. 13
! DEMMES
The soon2be-well-known-tho-not-yet-named Director of a Paediatric unit
in a well-known-tho-not-yet-named Hospital was today duly suspended from Duty.
Apparently He dressed up as a St.Trinian's schoolgirl and forced vulnerable
children to watch the controversial film Lolita, taping up their mouths
to prevent potential protest.
On top of these shenanigans, he compelled His staff to put on
JonathanDemme face-masks.
To compound the misery, PM Kammerleg were undertaking a state visit
of the hospital at the time.
After the visit, theKammerleg commented:
Well!, dear theHospital's in a bit of a state ?isn't it , budget-wise !
The Doc
OILY SKANK 26/1/13
EDITORIAL
Castrate ! him /them
PASTOR HENRY FROG
Comment:
Look!, not to beat about the bush here - this has been blown out of all proportion, really.
The point is this actually: I'd worked alongside the Director to organise a French Day,
y'know . . it was all done tongue-in-cheek so to speak, if you get my drift.
The lingerie, y'see . .. and we'd put an acute accent on the second E in Demme
( thus Dem-ay), if you get my drift.
And to complete the Gallic theme, the staff hugged and kissed - ! mwah mwah !
and generally frolicked about the plaice .. .
It was just a bit of harmless fun and not !even anti-French. Stereotypical?. . Moi ..? ! ?. Moi
Anon
27.1.13
! CASTRATE THEM / HIM
PHF
28/1/13
oohLaLaa ! spunk
saville shagged my hamster !
and davidson and hall etal
. . ..... well, It was no ordinary hamster *
* engelbert humperdinck ( CharlesAznavour :The Teletubby Years)
Our great-grandmothers be gobsmacked at why anyone might want to bang up a bang up-to-date comedian
? Nick-Nick nicked ? not ! yet
? Nick-Nick Nick-Nick nicked ? not ! yet
? Nick-Nick nicked ? O YES! !
Nik Yesmolten
jim davidson CHURCHILL
(TRAD)
The avant-garde composer, Luigi Nono ( WorldCups 1924-90) take a while to warm up
but finally finds his feet in a head2head against Jim Trott (TheVicarOfDibley)
.... . ! Nono
Nono Nono Nono Nono Nono Nono Nono . . ..!
! YES !
MOTSYN-LINEKE /
LINEKE-MOTSYN
The Usual Suspekts / ye_silent_monk@yahoo.co.uk
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