Monday, 24 August 2015
the hunt for Clarity : an Inspector (re) calls
You see, at the HMI, our mission is a hunt for Clarity.
Let me provide you with this especial example.
I visited a school recently - name unknown - where there was this particular teacher I was determined to investigate ; a teacher, ?shall we say, in dire need of "straightening out".
Well, what with the morning rush-hour being a bit-of-a-bear, and the hotel breakfast
being born(e) of a dog, I was, shall?we say, running a tad later than anticipated.
As i precipitated myself with some alacrity down the school corridor, I was impeded
by a mele'e of youngsters attending some asbo-gathering in all likelihood, or some
fat-boot-camp or some such, no doubt.
Anyhoo, I approached the children in the manner dictated by our training:
" ! Out of my way, you fucking retards ! " said I, with clear intent and precise diction.
As they stood (there) open-mouthed, I noted ( to self) that that is exactly the reason
those kind of people get called those things in the first place.
They slummocked sufficiently for me to squeeze by them, and i located ny 'target'
already engaged in lesson-mode; not-best=pleased to see me, !have no doubt,
and me not-in-the-best-of-moods.
Nevertheless, drawing on my own, personal experiences of best practice,
and recalling the recent, corridor entanglement, I enjoyed some success in setting
the teacher 'straight'.
As we say, all is Clarity; Clarity is all.
Kliston Meeny, HMI Off-Stood, was speaking in
" I said NOW !! ", the magazine for the teacherCeleb.,
as part of the series:
Our tymes in orifice : Wars won and two - MENKL NOSEYIT / TONI YESMENKL eds.
Sunday, 23 August 2015
koff-pause-hack ( 1)
hack koff splutter
HackmaniKoff pause hack koff splutter
hack koff splutter
sound like russian flu thro' prom season
(so) twixt (an) early T
and (a) winter sport
we may find (a) russian hack(s)
MILO & MOLI TENENSKY
eddy TheEagle stobart
Tuesday, 18 August 2015
! O(h) vicious circus. ( II )
caught on vicious cycle.
caught in vicious circle.
! O(h) vicious circus.
itchy feet. flea from flee circus.
not catch in hand.
and hammered with tacks.
FILLIP HAMMERED ( CON.) //
kammerleg-The-hammerhead ( double-con.)
Coco Channel / gregDykes
Monday, 17 August 2015
with Jurgen klinsman
j K : oy! Jurgen D'you ?know what
... I said to theDoc :
OY Doc ! Janachik on bbc4 again tonight;
his rhapsody on sex and celebrity
- Taras Vulva innit
?Guess what theDoc replied !
J k : No.
j K : .. . .. !! O !!
j K : Oy !Klinsman
J k : ja
j K : you watchin' what? I think you're watchin' .. ! ? Leos Janachug ?
J k : Ja
j K : and that Palmertomkinson getting it off with some swedes ?!
J k : ja
j K : ! Taras Volvo ? innit
J k : Nein ich hab' nicht; ich hab' ein Volkswagen !
j K : JA ! !
TOYE KLINSMEN (ed.)
watched dicky attenboro' - bbc 4.
presenting the 10 animals he would love to save and put on his ark.
realise these particular creatures not wholly british
but one thing we can say about them
is they ALL stay put
they dont go wanderin' off at random - at least not off there own bat.
(not that there are any bats in the list )
but even No. 5 - the Marvellous spatuletail - dont do ANY migratin'
and it would be fully entitled to, what with being Peruvian.
being so 'bigged up',
being in constant danger from land predation
and from Worall-Thomson tryin' to nick its tail for mixing stuff
so there you have it;
here's Dicky's 10 most loved animals;
and I've noted there migrant status FYI
1. Black lion tamarin NON-migrant
2. Sumatran rhino NON-migrant
3. Solenodon NON-migrant
4. Olm NON-migrant
5. Marvellous spatuletail NON-migrant
6. Darwin's frog NON-migrant
7. Sunda pangolin NON-migrant
8. Priam's Birdwing NON-migrant
9. Northern quoll NON-migrant
10. Venus' flower basket NON-migrant
F & C Affairs
sirDavidAttenborough's 10 favourite fishyfilms :
No.10 : 10 RILLINGTON PLAICE
list complied by
hammerhead Sharknado kammerleg
As Brian said
As Brian said,
be aware ! of liquids and solids.
Like that , I guess.
Evans Can Weight : From skinny-stand-up 2 supersize-cinema-star
sineme T lokyn ( pub)
Freeman T Spurlok (Ed.)
M. Skynlite ( ENO )
NO ! Professor ! NO !!
Stop ! fishing for compliments,
Professor No ! Stop
Steven , STOP HAWKING !
Micheal Flat-Fish and The Riverdancinglinedancing Transition
MIKEL O' SYNNET
( the general synnet )
Sunday, 16 August 2015
JIMMY Popeye DOYLE V JEAN HACKMAN
J P D : Look Jean!, we can presume all we like about
but the truth of the matter is that one of us
has assumed the other one's identity.
!And it aint me
JH : What about me being Olive to your Popeye ?
J P D : ! WOW !
! NON !
Notes from The F(l)ailing Language Academy :
TheFrenchCorrection 1 & TheFrenchCorrection the C-quill
DAILY PORT(s) OF KOO
MARAUDIN' MIGRANT'S THREATNIN' OUR STANDARD O' LOVIN'
the UK's 10 most loved birds :
1. ROBIN non-migrant
2. BARN OWL non-nigrant
3. BLACKBIRD non-migrant
4. WREN non-migrant
5. RED KITE non-migrant
6, KINGFISHER non-migrant
7. MUTE SWAN non-migrant
8. BLUE TIT non-migrant
9. HEN HARRIER partial migrant
10. PUFFIN MIGRANT
MyGrantMitchell* & YourGrantShapps
MyPhil*Grunt & YourHughGrunt
* by kind courtesy of Open All (Y)Ours - ( ! Last call - anyone? 4 Sh(n)apps )
stats taken from :
In Search of Lost Tymes / Mute Swan in Love
lord&ladyJohnBird c/o the BBC
BOLSHEVIK BROADCASTING CORPORATION
( i.e. anyone left of gengizKarn .. and maybe anyone left after that)
BEST BIRD COMPANY
(i.e. anyone left after taraPalmerTomkinson )
BUTTNAKED BUTTLOVELY CHEGWIN
( i.e. Cheggers Plays Popeye Doll )
Saturday, 15 August 2015
laid loose lisped low :
you're young, girl . look good;
sing adequate - a bonus -
suck up to arseholes .
but more he slickdrool:
you're made, girl - your future
in my hands ; shitsafe/shipshape girl.
and with this , Popeye
he dispatch to a throat-singing
hag in Tuva.
the girl Olive,
spinach done image spun ,
muster the hind-lick manoeuvre
semenntik oyl jimmy Popeye doyle
Friday, 14 August 2015
KOLEE ?YNNIT (ms.) V THE DOC
K?Y(ms.) : ! Oy Doc, I note that Koo has just experienced another moment of
Palindromic Goodoog innit !
THE DOC : ! O (h) !
KOLEE ?YNNIT ( ms ) V SIKMENT LOYNE
KY (ms) : !Oy Sik, I just wonder whether you managed to catch
Janacek's Taras Bulba on BBC4 last night innit
SL : Well, !Kolee, I didn't actually, but there's been a lot
of hoo-ha surrounding that new-celebrity-gardening-show
- working out just how many bulbs are lit up in
Tara PalmerTomkinsons head
.. . . ( small wonder ! I guess )
Taking into account the tokenism of the Taken trilogy .. .. . ... . . (how many Taken's in total ?)
((?would you like to see) )
- FOUR ?
- ?! 500 ( or so )
ANTONIO ('TONY') VIVALDI
( THE DOC / CATY PRYCE )
- ? ? ?
Beat Takeshi (Kitano )
Takeshi (Roy) Castle Toru Takemitsu's koto
The TorreyCanyon Calamity
S4AD in Japan - Society for Alliterative Dyslexia (in Japan)
Serj Tankian ( hon.)
Sylvian tara-palmer-tomkinson (hon.hon)
watched Taken .
watched Taken (The Sequel.)
watched Taken 3 . went to bed . tucked .
( The Catch with LiberalDemocracy)
I'm sure you and your crowd know all about holding camps,
but have you ever been "in the nude" with Cheggers
or Zippy from Rainbow ?
I doubt it.
(the ) Naked Bungle
mikel Holding /
( The Catch with LiberaalDemocrcy )
The Cheggers Small Holding Corp.