Tuesday, 31 January 2017
wot they said about The Four Susans JANUARY 2018
! CAN'T WAIT 4 THE NEXT INSTALMENT !
The Vatican Outrage
! cunt wait ! ! ?the next instalment ? !
I wrote I agree several times in the margins
Well zats anuzzer year dun and dusted ! sank ze fuk
Funniest thing I've heard since Marilyn doin' JFK
Arthur Windy Miller
i was ofered a choice of the4susans
or a weak round a swedish d i y Emporium ;
it was a noBrainer realy
I was offered a Japanese Noh brain
or DavId Ycke.
! No brianer ( really )
about wot He said forth rightly
JANUARY 2018 ( on-kor )
The narrator talk candidly about His roll in the development of the story
of Susan Giro, Kolee?Ynnit (Ms.), Sikment Loyne (Prof.),
and a hole-host of other, nefarious characters, some more hol(e)y than others,
as yet another child fly gracelessly off yet another piece of park play equipment
and the countryside alliance of nefarmious animals munch on their remanes.
it was quite a set up really
i'd got Eno Milkynets pretty hassle free this time
his Thirsty Afternoon streemin into arid shells
on a damp saturday morn
sometime close to the beguine of 2017
with various lumps-and-lugs and accompanied kids
screamin and a-hollerin
swingin and a-botherin
and i was gettin jip from the marketin bored
about me trippin the lite fandango
on sum heavy farrago
that had noncompusmentus writ in triplikit
and split in bloodembargo to all and sunday
and on a day too soon to boot
so cajolin the kahoot here's the set
up and ready for ya to invest invective in
and to select the vestal upset
with a positive suggest of shagged-out-shagrin
see i'd caressed the marketin bored
with varicosely marborious request
all of which they'd turned down in a heartbeat
tickin' me off with cavernous batwing cabaleet
still we have a park explicit
a park bench implicit
and the soundest of ideas that music be eminent here
thus from the bench would it emanate
at the first It was going to be Cage 4.33 SILENTLY
until me lateral got the best of me literal
and slucingly 4.33 got washed away
in seconds all 273 of them
for i'm takin' those three numbers initially
twistin the combos tippin the sequentios
and comin up with a string of 17's
the logic of which is squarely deathdefining
mathdefying at worst
or best left to somewhat drier daze
suffice to say now we have a mishmash of sounds
caroused from the mouth
of that bench in that park
2 peeps sit mayhemmed in seventeen surround
Wednesday, 18 January 2017
Whether it is nobrainer in the night to sulphur the slugs and arias of outrageous furrowin'
or just to tell Kolee ?Ynnit (ms) to shut-the-fuck-up about this hole aspidistrous shemessigan
surroundin' a mat(t)ress splittin', and not to drag out a professor at some ungodly hour,
well, only lime would till, and wise men bog to differ suresure .
Which meant, to all intents and purposes, that Professor Sikment Loyne was as confused
as you and I (!and that's saying nothing )
The nubshot of all of this cahootin' was that at just after 4.30am, as the sun was a-welkin' westward
- O! such tymes !we do live in - Prof Loyne was wading in a morass of widgemulch
and listening aphidly to Ms ?Ynnit's beda'libbin' diatribe.
!Well its like .. .
BUT(t) no!, not yet it isn't, ?Ynnit(ms), for Loyne stop her dead in her trunks, allowing him, us,
to explain to all of you, listeners, readers, that the person about to give her account of
a mat(t)'ress splitin' be indeed a certain Kolee ?Ynnit(ms), but(t) not as we might know her.
For, either as a result of her ongoing traumatisation, or because she has been kidding us all along in
fickle affectation, Kolee is now speaking in a manner akin to Hurricane's fair lady, or, rather,
on an allotment intended as a meating place for the professor and his Eliza Dobedobedobelittled .
So ?what's with this mat(t)ress splittin', Ms. ?Ynnit
butt when ?Ynnit inquired of Loyne IF he might be into
splitting a mattress with herself,
the professor did not wish to infinitvely split heirs about ?Y's knotted grammar, whether it be right or wrong to stress the
IF & butt & ?Y's knots and, besides, it was a tad inclement out there - he had no great desire to munkle further the misery of Winter - and Sikment was pitching a sickness in the pits of his stomach, alongside a stirring in the netherRegions, which, for Loyne, had for so long seemed something forlorn,
slavishly lovelorn too .
butt that take him gracelessly into grassy-nee-greasy memories
best left to wash up in some half-hybrid, Hebridean trawlertrash.
another story of course that might be told in darker, danker tymes.
as for now splitting a mattress seemed just the way to go
yet if ever a 2-way conversation were a one-way conversation, they'd be now erectin' an enormling No Entry sign at this very moment,
with ?Ynnit's and/or Loyne's features flit-large in flashin' neon, accordin' to interpretation .
K ?Y(ms) : butt ! bring a blade innit
S L(prof) :
K ?Y(ms) : were splitin a mat(t)'ress
- - -- --
K ?Y(ms) : in a sweedish way ( !that is )
well Loyne being Loyne, godhearted-hardhearted, with sexual undertones being ever more prescient than a dirtyFergalSharkeyvideo,
he grudgingly come to the conclusion that mat(t)'ress splitin'
be NOT euphemism.
so humping hardheart2hardhat he prepare for the bratwust, succrumbing there to the inevitable;
(and) becoming a sheepish meetball @ The Noo Ikea @ Luton
K ?Y(ms) : in a sweedish way ( that is! )
- --- -
K ?Y(ms) : meat me @ me alotment innit
!! bring ya fukkin blade !?
y'see prof being prof (as tiresomely we now know) Loyne had lined up the prospect of being led around that Scandinavian Sinferno in dogcollar(plus chain) (and, if truth be known, was not entirely discomforted by that image ) or being pushed around the place by
?Ynnit in a shopping trolley - he'd already slit his wrists at that point - until the pinny dropped and he understood - !!WTF? -
that they'd be splitin' a mat(t)'ress down at Kolee's al(l)otment
DOWN AT KOLEE'S AL(L)OTMENT
on er alotment
kolee show loyne wot she meen
by the sweedish way
for she gon and dug up all er sweeds
put em in a dish
then wayed em
M. (n)NITE YOKELS /
yokel O ! no /
DOWN AT KOLEE'S AL(L)OTMENT
never one to munch birds or regrane from callin a blade a blade Kolee ?Ynnit(ms), her nicotine lashes flaying in the chillbreeze like venetian blinds in a Sami tent, castigate Sikment Loyne(prof)
for unsloshing his bladder at the broken, al(l)otment fence,
rather than slipping out his hammer and nails.
ya cud hav soked me sweeds at ! the very leest innit
cry a rutabaga-bagged Kolee, waying up the matter in an instant.
As always when telling off the pondersome professor she started to whistle, which then transmogged into the Yoik caterwail which Sikment had installed as her ringtone; except, ?Ynnit being ?Ynnit, whenever she yoiked she consistently missed the lead consonant.
And so the sound that ended up coming out of her mouth would have been more at home on The Pissbeer Terraces at Phoenix FC.
Loyne would be pretty hacked off at this juncture,
butt didn't care to show it.
where kolee ask sikment
if he want to split a mattress
get hold of the wrong end of the stick entirely
when we said the world's run by huge lizards
? did we say they were
( Lemonn T )!Yikes!
Henri Ma'tress / Tolouse Ma'tress
to put it simply, USA
?howzitgoin' ? !
Although Time poetically
- 17 / 1 / 17 -
- well ! it just had to, ?surely -
I/we are making this
diary entry on the 18th,
the day after the marrow.
And solely to say hiya to all our
American friends and cuzzes
who continue to show a love
for and an interest in our work,
nay even a love interest
Thanks you, those peeps,
from the bottom of our heart.
Suffice it to say that out of
the pair of us
- Otis and Tosi Mykennel -
one of us extended our feets
to a hole-new-nadir
whereby one of us
- Otis or Tosi Mykennel -
became not so much a legend
as a leg-end
whereby one of us
- Otis and/or Tosi Mykennel -
ended up pretty much in the dogHouse.
Since one of us (a Mykennel) is
narrator of this story, that one of us
can equally idealise an addition to
that story ( !and here tis )
from the dogHouse or no.
Butt not, !let's not hesitate to say -
take anything from its material reality.
America, we love ! you
OTIS / TOSI MYKENNEL
Tuesday, 17 January 2017
LOYNE: You'll need to clear up something for me, Ms.?Ynnit.
Am I right in thinking that you've gone to the dogs?
And you say you had some sort of transcendental moment
down there, ?is that correct
well id just come on if thats wot u meen
and no it was the docks i gone to innit !! NOT the dogs
I'm wondering what it is you discovered down the docks then, Kolee ?
?YNNIT: yeah well i was clickin me eels for a bit innit and so im counted
the key dates of the 2017 and its well freeky
( she starts to hum When I'm 64 )
witch took me rite bak 2 the beetles again and epstein mushrooms ? rite
?YNNIT : well ! 64 key dates ? rite ( rita )
LOYNE : Yes. Rite. ! Mmmm(H)m
One thing tho', Ms. ?Ynnit. Luton doesn't have any docks.
?YNNIT : u aint obviosly not bin up before the luton asizes !then innit
where NOSTLIKEYMEN announce the key dates of 2017
and Kolee ?Ynnit (ms) go wait by the docks:
JANUARY 5 12 17 22 29
FEBRUARY 3 8 15 20 25
MARCH 4 9 14 21 26 31
APRIL 7 12 17 24 29
MAY 4 11 16 21 28
JUNE 2 7 14 19 24
JULY 1 6 11 18 23 28
AUGUST 4 9 14 21 26 31
SEPTEMBER 7 12 17 24 29
OCTOBER 4 11 16 21 28
NOVEMBER 2 7 14 19 24
DECEMBER 1 6 11 18 23 28
where what appears to be ( yetanotha) no-brainer
has Brian written all over it
LOYNE : I've been worried about you. Are you ?okay, ?you eating
?YNNIT : had my first propa meel 2day for a while. one of jamies 4 minute numbas
L : Not too substantial then ?
L : ( Minute / Minute you say.) ?! Soupcon of Eggtimer maybe
L : What? was the meal, Ms. ?Ynnit
?Y : epstein mushrooms it was called. tho i think oliver had nickd it from the beetles
Cookbook 17 kinds of mushrooms in it aparently innit
L : ! ( h ) mm(H)mmm! Not come across that one. I know Holstein Mushrooms.
German of course. 17 specific ingredients in that recipe.
You sure ? about this so-called 'Epstein' Mushrooms
?Y : as defo as eggs is eggs and ears why: the beetles got famous on amburgers !?rite
and their german innit
?Y : ?well ! rite ?
L : Yes ! rite
Narrator : ?Ynnit was rite of course. To contradict her wisdom was a no-brainer.
Or no-Brianer, if one want to be Epstein-specific.