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Saturday, 29 September 2012

             Sikment Loyne in meeting with Pastor Henry Frog

SIK:  Look,  Henry,  when I agreed to you launching  HOLY ! STONKE
         there were certain guidelines you know,  certain values to uphold.
         You're a pastor for christ's sake..  . ,. I mean,  why are we even having this 
        conversation ?  ..     I've held back the latest edition of  HS,  you realise ..
        I..  we couldn't let it go out with that headline.
HEN:       Melen's  Teats    ? ?
SIK:  Well, yes !   . .    ?  Is there another 
HEN:  No.     Of course not . .. Look,  Sikment,  it was a misprint,    albeit a deliberate one.
           I ..  we wanted to show up the gutter press ..  for the heathen,  hypocritical
          bastards that they are  !   As you'll no doubt realise, Sik,  the headline should have read:
               Melen's  Tears
          And that refers to Melen Koynits,  you know,  the student who ran off with her teacher 
          to the mountains  of Andalucia,  hid in the  caves for a while until they got caught when the   
          teacher's pidgin Spanish  let him down in a ruck with a gypsy-farmer who mistook a request 
          for a  white dove  ( a love offering to Melen)   as a wish to obtain contrasting copies of  
         'UnaPalomaBlanca' - one by Demis Roussos and the other by Jonathan King  -
         all of which ended up in a heated dispute about which of those two you would least want to end up 
         with  in a dark cave;  the hotchpotch becoming even more heated  - blame ! the pidgin spanish - 
        when the gypsy-farmer's wife was implicated,  and the kerfuffle got more of a muddle 
        when  King got took for Ross   and Roussos for Onassis  and well   you can  guess  the rest    . .  
SIK:   Well,  !yes   . ..              ?
HEN:    . .. ..    So  . . one thing led to another, and before you could say boo to a ghost,  the spectre that 
          is   Unrequested Love  came back to pinch the runaaway lovers in their plentifuls ; and they were
         nicked by  The Guardia  who ribbited on in incomprehensible Spanish about sexual
        complacency,  sensual liberation,  and, on top,  mores that were as different in the South of Spain as
        they were diffident in the uncivvilised world . . ... 
SIK:  But let's not forget they were bang to rights, and he'd be banged up for sure, once he got shipped
        back to  OldBlighty ...  ?!
HEN: Well ! yes    .   . .    ...    and  no         !
SIK:  . .  What d'you mean exactly ?  ..
HEN:  . . ..       I'm not sure, actually  . . 
                                                                                   .  .     .... .... 
        . ...   ?                 !   . 

Friday, 28 September 2012

Abrammervich   Stammervich     as   seasons     c.. c..  come   and     g.. g.. . o  .  .     .. 

 autumn    winter        spring         m.. m
     little  f. .f                  m..m . .m. .. money                                                                   
                                                                                                                  MOTSYN-LINEKE /  LINEKE-MOTSYN

                  :)                                                                                                           ):

Doc's Bed meets with Koo's Head                                  in somewhat strange circumstances

KH : So this  10/12 business has been sorted out then , DB ..  ..  !      ?  What's it all mean, actually 
DB :  Well, funny you should ask that, really  ... .  What I did notice was that Henry's  ' reveal ' happened
         on Thursday, ?yes,  but there was no diary entry on that day, no entry of any kind in fact. . . .
         Indeed the reference to that event was the day before ...  Hmm ..    !    Curious
KH :  time surely is a funny thing,  isn't it ?
DB : And especially at a Time when time itself has, to all intents and purposes,   run out  of Time  . ..  ?  !
KH :  . ... ....  Hmm .. . So what's it all mean, DB  . . ?   the  10/12  stuff,  I mean  .   .
DB :  Simply put, KH,  it's like this:
        With the 10th Kalamity of the 12th Year, the  10/12 Revelation  is clear :
         (a)  the number of people to survive  TEOTW will be  1012.
         (2)  those people will all share the same 12 letters in their names. 2 of these letters being duplicated.
               the letters won't necessarily be in the same order.
         (c)  the survivors will hide out at a place called  Kelostemy Inn       ( note point 2)     
        (4)  there will be the odd exception to the rule
KH :  Like you and me then, DB
DB : Yes  .  . .  ...     maybe.   
KH :  Oh .. ... ....I see .


Wednesday, 26 September 2012

(cont. from entry - Monday 24th) )

SUNDAY 23`/9 :  PM
(  So here's the joke :    Bradley Wiggins and Andrew Mitchell are on their stolen tandem bike, yeah?)  .. . . . . 
.. . . .    .        .              ...                  .   .    ..           ..  
At this point y'all, as PHF embarks on the storyjoke       -  ?!  apocryphal?apposite?appertaining2 the apocalypse  !? -    
it will be observed that that this will be       a short kickabout   ( into)   the main kaboodle :   
What eveveryone there, then, at  Kelostemy Inn,  what all of us were waiting on ..  the nature of the   10/12 Revelation.
It is fair to say that Frog will have learned no doubt from preceding interruptions and interventions from ?Ynnit,  from !Yikes, 
and will know ( if he didn't already)  that an audience - !even a captive one - can take only so much at any given time, 
especially a Time that is, by necessity, so anxiety-ridden. 
Frog is fully aware, like all of us, that 'small is good '  !goodgod    and, anyhoo, too much ribbiting on is a bad habit to get into
and really no good for anyone . ..
Leaving them wanting  more ( exclamation)   is superior to long-winded explanation    ..and   slow-burning expiration      

Thus, as a result of all of this shindig-fandango (and ! on a Sunday ), weighing all things up, and all things being both equal and considered, Pastor Frog continued his address to the gathered multitudes :  .               .           ..                .              . .
    ..   .              .   . .... .   Wiggins  .   .                  Mitchell    ...               .                         .                                                                   
            .   . ....          . .  .                                             Mitchell      ...  .  ..            . ..                      Wiggins           ...   .. 
(THURSDAY  27/9) ..   .   ..  so  then finally  Mitchell turns to  Wiggins and says :  
  Brad ! You think you've got troubles    Look! what those two monks are doing with JohnCage's bicycle . .!!.. (Lol )
                     Silence                                                        Furtive glances.   
If the response from the tethered multitude was muted, we must bear in mind that it was now the morning of Thursday, 27/9,   
eleven minutes past ten to be precise.     Those crammed into  The Inn  had waited three and a half days for Henry Frog
to grind out a punchline      which no-one understood.
And  at 10.12am precisely   on that same Thursday     the 10/12 Revelation was revealed.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

             F  words

  ...  if    The Rite of Spring
                                                                             was left to decompose
                                  in John Cage's oven        . .           . .                 ... 

then The Fall's  rise to F(l)ame 
                                                                              could be Found
                            in  Jurgen Klinsman's   volkswagen   


i could have made it as a rite winger          if i hadn't had a paper round
KISI YM ESON  YM ESON                                        YM ESON
Jurgen Klinsman /   Toye Klinsmen

                                                                                     you should have come to us son,  in stead.
                                                                                        i'd have lit your Fire ..          Arson Winger       !

Franz schubert wonders just how the devil is he supposed to compose
with so many phone interruptions!

   F r  aaaaaaaaaaaa   n z   !                    Fone !!  
                                                                      It's your pater  !  (Father)
     Finish ! your  Friggin'  8th Symphony                                                      later         !
klyemin tones & notes
the burkina Faso shoehorn Foundation
smokey robinson and the Follicles

                    !                       on not hearing the First cuckoo of spring   !

Friend of Frederick delius :         ! Fred   .. .. . Fred  . . !  ... oy   Fred     !     !
                                             can you hear it ?  . . .    the First cuckoo of spring .  .
                                                          .               .            Fancy  !!       yes
               Frederick delius :                                                                      no! you  Fucking dick    . ...
                                                        .   .        . ..            you  were  shouting   ..  !  .     .
                                           and it's  Fall  !!    . . .            and     i'm      Fred - er - ick    !    !!
                                                                                                          klyemin notes & tones
                                                                                                       the burkina Faso lost&Found shoe section
                                                                                                                          smokey linnet and the Follygulls

// @

Monday, 24 September 2012

FRIDAY 21/9/12 :  Evening
 . . ..  At some point during Kolee ?Ynnit (ms) '  RoundaboutGirl  rap,  Pastor Henry Frog's  re-re-re-arrangement
         of it  became inevitable, in all truth.
         His old cronk was on fire, there was much smoke,  some old crocks in the crowd had croaked.
         And there was dear  oblivious Kolee, still banging on.   Until Henry stopped her,  mid tracks.    . .  ..    . ....
Yes  ! thank you,  Kolee ..   the Pastor mutters largely to himself   .  .  Yes,  I'm .. sorrry .!. Kolee . .  I ...   
!Oh dear, that's another one I've upset .. !!  . ...  Oh dear   !  .. . ..  No. No .. K?Y .. I t's not  you,  really
it's not .. it's just that you  ..  we ..   Oh. I mean it's very . . It was very good, dear !  ...  
... .  . .              . . . ... .. . .  .            .          ..
SATURDAY 22/9/12 : Early morning
. .. .    .        .... . No ! Really, Kolee dear  !! The rap was  . .. very  good ...  wasn't it ? everybody  ! . ... .
. . ......        .            . . ..              . .
SATURDAY :  Late afternoo
  . . ...   Anybody ?    . . . Hmmm  . .!   Well. . .  A:s I  was saying  . ..   Anyhoo    Henry Frog continues to the gathering  
we have bigger fish to fry , do ? we not . . .    . ...    .  . 
silence          furtive glances
..What I mean is .. . .   concomitant with the   10 / 12 Calamity,    and the requisite   EndofTheWorld          (EoTW)
of course,  be the   10 / 12  REVELATION .   ... ..    !                                                           !
      silence                  furtive glances
..  but then that's why you're all here, with me,  is it not ?..  and Kolee ....   well  !! maybe not Kolee ..  
and you're here NOT because you have chosen to be ..  Oh no !  please don't get me wrong ..  of course 
you would have chosen to be here had you had  free will...  .. but clearly you didn't !  .. .. 
have free will, I mean ..  you had nowhere to be  BUT here ..         You were CHOSEN !,  all of you ..
..? aint that right  , !Yikes . ..    ! Yikes! nods approval
                 silence                            furtive glances
  . ...              .               .   ..    .....     .     .            . ...  
SUNDAY 23/9/12 : Wee Small Hours 
   .  . .The Pastor proceeds:   .........Yes  .  . ... . . ! THANK YOU ,  Yikes  ..     .   I said   THANK YOU  !!  ..  that's good.   
.. .   I think you've pretty much covered everything . .. humanly .  . .   or inhumanly possible,   that  is   ..!  
 .             .  .. .............            .   . .   . . ...... 
SUNDAY : Some time in the afternoon
 .. ! No ...     Not at all   . . !   Yes!, Yikes, of course  ..     YES!! .. We'll let you know if there's anything
you've forgotten  .  ..  .. .       anyhoo,  to business,  and  the   10 /12  Revelation ...
Let me begin allegorically if I may; it's a joke really, but very relevant to the serious matter(s) at hand  . .
Okay then, here it is :  Bradley Wiggins and Andrew Mitchell are out riding a stolen tandem, ?right . . ..       .        .            .
 . ........                     .                             . ..    
. ....   .  .     .        .         .       .          .    ....    
  ! ?                       !!                                                     !                       ?

Friday, 21 September 2012

   10 / 12 : The Truth
The evening put aside by PastorHenryFrog for PastorHenryFrog to reveal all about  10/1
  ( 10 / 12 : The Truth)   started well-enough.
In point of fact it started better than well-enough;  it started with a veritable bang;   !  literally.
PHF turned up at  The Inn  with  His veritably old banger - The2CV - as promised,  which would serve 
as a veritable old prop for His dear young friend  Kolee?Ynnit(ms.)'  new Rockmock opera,
 The Burberry of Seville,  musically driven by Chav 'N Daze.
This work was an original misinterpretation of  Koo's Head's  picaresque novel  
Andalucia !? Where the fuck r u   (eh) ( a masterpiece for sure had KH not missedapiece)
As it turned out, ?Ynnit's Rockmock opera was sequestrated by SienKomently
from whence it became a Rockmockjock opera, which was in turn then violated by Vinnie Jone
from whither it winced as a  Rockmockjocklockstock&2smokingcocks opera.
But ! enough of  (all)  that  . .  .   .    ....
To reiterate, 
Frog turned up in His old crock which went up in smoke
when Kolee lit up a fag which she left in the back  of Frog's old cronk
which went off with a boombangabang  ! !   (literally)
Well, in the chaos and confusion that followed this explosion,  K?Y(ms) had a stark (and instant) 
choice to make: Whether to distract from the mayhem going on around her,         or to add to it.
In choosing to add to the mayhem going on around her, ?Ynnit gave us a whole new meaning 
to the words   chaos       and       confusion.
And thus  TheBurberryOfSeville  commenced.
In Chav 'N Daze's absence,  ?Y performed the opening number  -  TheRoundaboutGirl Rap
with a clarity that lacked, let's say,                               clarity. 
It could be stated that Ms. ?Ynnit was somewhat misguided to introduce into her improvised/
unrehearsed rap the apology note from Chav 'N Daze, whose  SharedPostTraumaticStressDisorder  
had flared up once more when their local Sainsbury's was shut down due to rabbit insurgency  .  ..
                              sos  for miss  Burberry !  !  might appen agin   -   !bleedinrabbits         innit    
                                  oh, youd b mad to  bring this note into   you doing  B.  insted of us !      !
                                                      easy                                                 C 'N  D 

                     TheRoundaboutGirl  Rap
                                                                               ( note from C 'N  D )
Just(ine)   when you think your bang on time          for your work   you realise  
that your only clean pair of pants                          have mopped up the baby sick           (innit) 
So rinsed-out you throw them in  the drier            You see a note pinned to the door :
!Gone     Damn ! that broken machine                 No!  !! Gone 2 Mothers  is what she meen
The bitch has walked out on you agin    (innit)         Just(ine)  when the drier need fixin' !        !
So the baby is still cryin'                                       when the nanny walks into the kitchen
and you reach for the car keys                                but the bitch has taken  ZippyZelda                         
and left you  SchizoSusan                  (innit)  :               Half Suzuki      Half Nissan                             

     love my car  not much tread  it is fast   it is red       love my car love my car love my car love my car

Out of frustration that she wont go                         you bang Schizo Susan's stereo
and remind her that you meant :                                       Half Suzuki      Half Nissen hut  -  
                               A corugated steel shelter            for fighting forces everywhere
       ! Hmm
That was where the damn bitch used to sit             and youd imagine you were  Nick Nolte  in  Under Fire
              fightin'  with  The Sandinistas ,                      bangin'  their  muchachas
                                       while she got shot               by  The Contras 

love my car  not much tread  it is fast  it is red             love my car love my car love my car love my car
love my car  insurance lapsed  MOT  and the tax      love my car love my car love my car love my car

Just(ine)    when you think your bang on time           and headin' away to a life of crime
you see six cop cars, one after the other                   Lucky for you!,  there on a transporter
but not as well fixed    unluckily                                  as they damn well ought to be !
and before you know it,  ! pal                                        your bein' kissed like a snooker ball ;
  your all over there body-work                         !            like a cheep   red    lipstick

                             ?What  do  you  expect  when  you  know  nothing  of  mechanics ?
                 ForLipstickingUsWe'reNickingYou              !                    ForLipstickingUsWe'reNickingYou

        A copper dips into his pocket                                           and presents you with a package

                 the damn bitch has left you sandwiches     the damb bitch has made you sanwiches
                                                             the damn bitch has left you sandwiches
          with a note wishing            Happiness and success          Hoping ! you enjoy the watercress

                                                Words:  Yon Mese-Klint
                               Arrangement:  Ise T / Lemon Ynk
                                Re-Arrangement:  Chav 'N Daze
                           Re-Re-Arrangement:  Kolee ?Ynnit(ms)  
                         Re-Re-Re-Arrangement:  PastorHenryFrog

At some point during the rap,  PHF's re-re-re-arrangement was inevitable,  in all truth.   
His old cronk was on fire, there was much smoke, some old crocks in the crowd had croaked .. .
and there was dear oblivious Kolee, still banging on.   Until Henry stopped her,  mid tracks.



                                        The Audience respond :
(a) Well I don't know about that
(3) We were (all) a tad disturbed to find  Roman Polanski 
     populating your sister-sight : 
     !Please have him removed at your own costs.

         The  BringPolanskiToJustine  Campaign           
                                                                                                 07879  437101
                                                                                                                          Burkina Faso


justine droo(l) barrimore beeber
  Stem Ye Lok  Inn
9   Moist Elk
        Canada  x

la pasionara

You hooked me           You looked me over              Your mouth  un folding
                       A smiler's web  concealing my desire            for you
                                                  Your bed as hard as trusted nails   which clawed me  back
                                           Drawing bloody scenes        of what we would do
To be together   after all these  years       No matter what                    No matter  whether 
                         It doesn't matter                               We're still together
             In Spain  there was a woman   bold and beautiful :
  La Pasionara    had only to avert her eyes  
     which shone like jewels   fought for in the grasping sun,
                                                  converting boys to sinners
                              or      returning them home to mother;
                                                                no place  for toothless gringos    in this human  race 
For time is on our side              
              Composure open wider  than the floodgates     in the morning tide
Call me  crazy !  if you like
but  I have a hazy memory of when we danced  at   Dawn's
Diving for pleasures
     you unfurled your tentacles  like widow's wings. Soon our lips had picked up the necessary lingo; 
                              you said my moves had  all the gracefulness  of a flamingo
                                                                   with steel-plated legs
So I enticed you       to spread your favours                     on grassy   Dawn's ;
not once      nor twice                 nor thrice         I named you   All Fourlawns.
              Drunk in moondust      we crazy-paved  our future       based on a love of lust
                                                                                                or a lust for love,   there ! you've made me say it
I love the way our love has not decayed in time
           I love you    like  I  love   La Pasionara
                                                                           La Pasionara       like    I   love          you
                        Neli, Neil  ( El Stinkymeno)  Kosmenyt