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Wednesday, 31 October 2012

       
          
                            Kolee    got   a dammerung 
                                                    which she hanging   on  to                               
                                                                                                                                   4  all her worth

KOLEE ?YNNIT  (ms)
ROBERT & RICHARD WAGNER

Friday, 26 October 2012

( cont.)  . . . .
                      .. .      Nah  !!  Bradley Wiggins         says  Kolee ?Ynnit (ms)           
                                                                                                                           and who are we to argue  !!?
The point being this:   Ms ?Ynnit might be guilty of getting hold of the wrong end of the stick when she ask about Richard Wagner, and then profess undying love for him ..    
           . .   .                    spose I fell for him when he was in that   'art to' art  detective series       ! innit     .  . ......
 but(t)   be that as it may    
She is clear in her own mind at least that   The Ring Cycle   has nothing to do with anyone called Wagner
but refers to a bike race through the East Anglian Fens led by one  Bradley Wiggins    in his quest for   The NoBell Prize
 As Kolee says    wisely :  
  well he aint doin  The Tour de France  agin  !? is he      but insted hes goin2ride up and down the 'ills of the fens      ?innit    
She informs us that BW intends to replace   The Tour de France (2013)   with   The Tour de Pants(2013)  
and  refers us to a C4 documentary on such :
 ..  ( where )  . .    .   we  watch  Wiggins  wriggle and wiggle and wobble his way  through the unfeeling Fens    
where he pass by a pissed wag in a wig who's robbing a wagon while wagging his robin         with Wiggo worming his 
way through a welter of waiters all called Walter       while some wife, at the roadside rooted, howled and hooted  at the sight of Brad's bike as it followed a route over which Wiggins, astute, had furrowed and frowned and burrowed   
. .  and thus bound to the ups and the downs  of Spalding Town  . .
 Signs&Wonders :What if the Messiah took a wrong turn and ended up in Spalding?  
(A Derren Brown Prod.)

Thursday, 25 October 2012


                   if Wagner knows his arse from his elbow,    is? his future at Arsenal

Die Walkure                            cup of tea  
                        die walkure                             cup of Tea
                                                                                                                     Cup of Tea

        (Lord) Semlitynn Koe ;    Tele Kymonnis;       Motsyn-Lineke / Lineke-Motsyn  
           

SIKMENT YOYNE   : Oh! hello Kolee ,  I haven't seen you around for a while     !?
KOLEE ?YNNIT(ms): Nah  . . I bin doin sum promotin     ?! innit
SL :                  Right.      What kind of  ..  ?
K ?Y :               For summat called    The Ring Cycle
SL :                  Oh,  I see.     You ?  Kolee      ..  I mean  ..  Kolee  ?   !
                        .. oh ! Kolee  ..   sipping   The Nectar of the Gods   !!
K ?Y :               ?Oowot    ..  nah   !  I dunt av  NektarPoints , Sik,  cos I shop at Tesko innit !
                        an u wont catch me  drinkin  'air stuf  ?!? sillee        u sik !? or wot    Sik ?   . .     
SL :                  No .. what I meant  .. I mean  .. you,  in the company of Gods  . .
K ?Y :               Nah  !!   Lord Koe were busy  ?right . .  and john (Terry)   hed fukt off 2 spain!     
SL :                  Yes but still  ..   I mean  ..  Richard Wagner  ..  The Ring Cycle   !
K ?Y :              ! Nah   . .  Bradley Wiggins!          innit   ?   

                                                                                            TBC  . . . .

Wednesday, 24 October 2012


Jean Hackman  gives a full account of what it might mean 
                                                to  do  a hackman
and how that might compare with
                do(ing)  a hagman                                   or even       a  hackma ......
                                            Mr. J.R. Ewing





       !  doing a  hangman ?
Jean's friends with John Terry then ?
                                                    Mr. Roman Abramovich



             

Sunday, 21 October 2012


                   Tonnel  Vision
                                                                Now! I see it       
              ! Yes      Now !  I see  it                                                   Yes  ! !  Yes
                                                                  Now  I    really   do      see                   (it)         !

                                                                                                                        MIKEY S TONNEL

Saturday, 20 October 2012

as Pastor Henry Frog jumps from a great height, we see (hear) him    jumping from a  great  height,
reciting his latest (last) work:
                                            The Fall
                                                              ! LET THE FROG SEE THE HABIT
                                                                               LET THE FROG SEE THE HABIT  !
                                   OH !! FUCK IT
                                                                                                 PHF


JEAN :  So what? were you thinking  ..  on your way down   .. to  (certain / apparent )  death  ?!
 HEN :   Well,  Jean  ..   I suppose, firstly  ..  how marvellous it would be if I had a parachute .. 
             . . .  and then, when I found I had a parachute . . I thought .. : !how marvellous  ! .  .
             but  when I thought I was going to Die, of course,  well  then  I shouted out, at the top
             of my voice, y'know ..:  !help ! . .   ? is there anyone there  . .    no answer  ..   then again:
            is anybody there  ?!    still no answer .. finally  God replies:   Yes, my son.  I am here ! .. .
             then I shout again :  .  .  ...           .  ..      Is ? there anyone else there  . . .
            What else was  I thinking  ! ?   ..   well, about Rolf Harris   (of course)
          . .  and about going to see my lovely bank manager, Patricia Wack, giving her a gift of a 
            ceramic elephant, and demanding a loan, in a PierrotLunaire-singytalk  kinda way  ..
                             It's a nicknack, PattyWack ! ! Give The Frog a loan 
            and then, well then, I got to thinking about old BBC Dramas,  Jean , and the way characters
           used to repeat last words of phrases
JEAN :  Oh! I see, Pastor          ( ! Oh, I see )
  HEN :  Yes.  God indeed moves in mysterious ways.
            Truly,  I thought I was going to croak, Jean.     I thought I was going to  .  ... . 

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Jean Hackman :     Well, Henry  ..   I sense you have something to tell me  ..
PastorHenryFrog:  Yes, Jean ..  I need to hide for a bit ..  TheChurch is after me ..
                           !y'know ?  .. since I published my memoirs
                                            Let ! The Frog See The Habit
                           .. I don't think  they'll forgive me this time  ..     ?y'know   !  . . ...

Wednesday, 17 October 2012


 WEATHER  U'VE  TRANSMOGRIFIED     WITH  A  CAT  CALLED    DANIEL
           OR                 TRANSDOGRIFIED  WITH A FAITHFULL OLD SPANIEL

           AT  KELOSTEMY INN
                                                    THERE'L  ALWAYS  BE  A  WELLCOMB  
                                                                                                                           4  U

                                   HENRY FROG
                                     LENI'S NYT KOME
                           YOMTI KENNELS
     KOLEE ?YNNIT (MS.)     ( 'Grooming your animals & Petophilia : the Untolled Storey' )


                                                                                                                       HairToady, FrogTomorow   Studio
                                                                                                                       Kelostemy Inn

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

 
                Jean Hackman sums it all up for us  in telling us how it is                                   again


Okay then, to clarify, let me offer you a shining example of how all of this hoohah unfolds  . .  



At some point in the not-too-distant   we see  Enne Moistlyk,   
all dry-mouthed and beating heart,  slip sweetly off  a rain-sodden bouncy castle
balanced precariously on the tallest construction in Spitalfields.  
Enne is a failed alcoholic and participant in an  AA fundraising bash.
She recites her poem as she falls:

                   the Campaign to bring  Harris Glenn Milstead  to  Justine                          ( by Enne Moistlyk )

Justine! ,      ( I ) /  we're making
                                                 a concerted effort  to bring
                                             Harris (Glenn Milstead)  to   yo u u u uu u uuuuuuuuuu
                                                                                                           ( !yes !  ( I ) / we are)

Hope that helps

                                    JH




Monday, 15 October 2012

                          Jean Hackman sums it all up for us in telling us how it is                    

In  The Transmogrification of Souls,  the minimalist-symbolist  Sony (Noys) Metelink   pictures
Kelostemy Inn  as   a  DeadFest ,   something akin to Comfort Inn on a cold November night 
in Etruria,   somewhere near Stoke-on-Trent.
This helps us no end in our understanding of actual, unfolding events at  Kelostemy Inn.

In   The TransmUgrification of Soles,  the minimalist-maximalist  Kolee ?Ynnit (Ms)  depicts
K.I.  as       a plaice full of fashial makeovers on fish . . and a lode of old kobblers to boot     ! innit /?
This helps us not a jot in our understanding of anything at all. 


In truth,  The Inn is a place stocked full of failed suicides.
People who have failed in Death just like they have failed in Life.
Except of course they haven't failed completely, or they would't be at  The Inn  now.
Somehow (and eventually) one of their suicide attempts worked;  Death triumphed,  et ! voila
Thus we must take Pastor Henry Frog's so-called  10/12 Revelation  with a big pinch of salt
and see it simply as a smokescreen.
Let's be perfectly blunt !  There hasn't been an  EndoftheWorld  in the outside world
any more than there's been a SurvivalSpin  inside  The Inn.
No, it is not as simple as that   !  You don't get off the hook that easily


For as much as many (in the outside world) believed that the world had indeed ended so many moons ago,
or hopefully would end as soon as possible,    or, in the case of neither, was as good as ended anyway,  somehow alive-yet-dead,   what was going on inside  Kelostemy Inn  was a  Beginning-of-sorts, 
a renewal ,  a Life after Death  if you like.
So the Pastor's wholegrain lie contained a halfassed truth - in that the  dead soles  (sic)   now inhabiting
The Inn  lived up to the  10/12 rule  in so far as they numbered 1,012   asnearasdamnit  
 and their 12-lettered names shared the same 10 letters, if not necessarily in the same order.
And it just so happened that overseeing this mishmash squad of such squalid deceased were
(in no especial order)  PHF,  Jean Hackman,  Koo's Head,   The Doc,    (TheKammerleg),  JurgenKlinsman'sVolkswagen  (to name but several.)
And these, in a formal sense, just happened to be still alive.
The deadsouls, on the other hand, were anything but (alive);  their suicide deaths had happened at the same time that they were presenting their own creative material ; for they were all poets, in an informal sense.
There is of course a further, curious coincidence to mention here:  Irrespective of how many goes they had at ending-it-all,   all of the final (and successful) suicide attempts involved  jumping  in some way.
And all the  jumpers  - yes, all of them -  were heard reciting an example of their work in the act of jumping.
Well, if they weren't heard as such, then it goes as read that they were indeed speaking such words.
In this regard, you'll just have to take my word for it.

Hope this helps


JH





Sunday, 14 October 2012

on a day of weeping wind
                                                       the Executive  
     took His time to think
                                           then tried very hard                      to blow 
                                                                                     the whistle   on the
                                                                              jimmy saville show
      but the pea  stick in His throat
                                                                                                 and   He end His days
                     as the   test card note
                                                           
SYMON KLEENIT  & his  SKLEYMIN NOTE

Saturday, 13 October 2012

JEAN HACKMAN :   ?  Where were you on the day   Kelostemy Inn   lived down to its name
                                                 and bagged 1,012 inhabitants before,  quite rightly,
                                                           shutting its doors on the rest of the world 
                                                                                                (which had Ended anyway,  to be perfectly frank. )  

Thursday, 11 October 2012


...  and thus  we turn to  Pastor Henry Frog and the  Melen Koynits  affair  ...  
As Henry has rightly suggested, I think, the issue here is to tackle the emotional
scarground of sex and sensuality with reason and responsibility:
Grasping it, understanding it,  debating it
Whether or not  Melen Koynits ever existed is really neither here nor there.
For what suffice is the very possibility  of her popping up on the front pages of the sleezepress,  titillatingly laid, provocatively displayed, juxtaposed with semi-clad and unclad girls of around the same age while Melen, bless ! her, is regarded reverentially   and The Teacher - a little older maybe - is hunted, hounded, and hanged (ultimately) by a jury of free men and women in dark glasses, wearing long, white wigs, and pursing cigardrooping lips  . ... . .
                        silence                                                             furtive glances
                                                                                                                                                                   JH


and after JH wraps up the whole Henry Frog / Melen Koynits affair, we would expect to see everyone
leaving the room to the theme tune to   !Jim 'll Fix ?It
Except of course,  there is nowhere for anyone to go  in all honesty.
Well  there is the other bits of  Kelostemy Inn.     That much goes without saying !
Well,  there are the other bits of  Kelostemy Inn.
But in this instance, the 1,012 inhabitants of  The Inn,  gathered in that one tiny room.
choose  (as if they even ! have a choice )  to stay put  and,  led by Professor Klonesme,
to jump up and down    and on the spot      to the theme tune to    Jim ! 'll  Fix it  ?
                                                                                                                              ANON





Tuesday, 9 October 2012

...    (TUESDAY)   .. 
Well,  Doc ..  ..       everybody  ..      Hmm .. !?       okay     splutters  Jean Hackman  
I  ..  I   mean    ..  well   ..    yes .  .   I'll be making a list of names  . . .     But now  I need to . .
The Doc has asked me to clarify the serious issue of who we all are that find ourselves in this situation .. and the small matter of  Pastor Henry (Frog)    of course .
I'll deal with the Pastor in a mo, and those utterances on  Melen Koynits  that some people might regard as saucy in the extreme.   For all of us "freethinkers" though,   I think I'm right in saying that what The Frog does is to flag up the double standards of the mainstream press..   . 
  ...  .    is that it Doc  .  ?   . .. yes  ...        and ?Henry   ..    good .
!   Now however, if  I may ,  I'll need names of everyone present,  if that's okay  ..
 the role call  as you will.

                                                  The names,   as listed by Jean Hackman :
   NIKO ELYMENTS     PASTOR HENRY FROG      JEAN HACKMAN     KOO'S HEAD
SOY INKLEMENT   N.Y.INK OMELETS   IN MY SKELETON    YOMTI KENNELS   SLIM KEYNNOTE   
  MOSTYN KINEEL     LON KITENMYSE    NONSEY&SONNEY KLIMET (The Klimet Boys)   
      TINY KLONESME       SIEN KOMENTLY         MELEN KOYNITS   
LENI'S NYT KOME (formerly Lenin's Key MOT)    LENI ST.MONKEY   MONTY LE SINKE
MOTSYN-LINEKE/LINEKE-MOTSYN    SIKMENT LOYNE    YENTL MIKENOS   ELTON MINKEYS      
 LES MINYTOKEN   I.T.MkNOYESNEL    KEL MONEYTINS     LT.MONKIESYNE   
OLE/LEO NITEMYNKS (The Nitemynks Family)    MENKL NOSEYIT/TONI YESMENKL    
   KEN NOTSMILEY      STINKY OLE MEN    SLINKETY OMEN     OLI SEMEN-KYNT
KOLIN SEYMENT   SILENT MONKEY     KIM SLONTYNEE       MELENY STONIK  
  MILO&MOLI TENENSKY (The Tenensky Twins)   THE DOC     TINKELMONEYS    
MOSEY N.TINKLE   KLYEMIN TONES&THE MELYKIN NOTES      MIKEY TONNELS    
 TOYE KLINSMEN    JURGEN KLINSMAN'S VOLKSWAGEN    KOMEN YELTSIN   
YE SILENT MONK        KOLEE ?YNNIT(Ms.) .  .. . ..
                                           Apologies if anyone has been included.
There were quite a few more actually,  making  1,012 in all .
                                                                   But we couldn't really be arsed to list all and sundry,  especially on a tuesday .
               Is that okay  ? 
     

Sunday, 7 October 2012

We see The Doc and Jean Hackman sitting  facing each other,  in Doc's room
DOC:   Why, you seem confused, ! Ms. Hackman
JEAN : Well ...    yes ..    a little,  I suppose.
DOC :   Well really, Jean, it's not a good time to have any doubts, you know.
JEAN : Why would that be, Doc ?
DOC :  Well, look ..  !   ..   . . . .
Here Jean turns around and sees all around her  a sea of long faces, some of whom turn around as soon as 
look at her.  Others look back at her.  Soon she sees what was staring her in the face all along.
JEAN: Doc  .   !  ..  when I turned around all I could see was a sea of faces. some of whom  .. 
DOC : Yes, Jean, I know.   .  ...You might want to make a note of who we're actually talking about . . .     
            . .. ...                    . .    (Sunday)    . . ...   



   

Friday, 5 October 2012

If we had been there at this point we might have seen Pastor Henry Frog turn a 
   hoppingmad-apoplectic 
              amphibianinafoodblender 
                                red                 
Well. we might have.
Can't what ?   He'd  say               ?make up news stories                            oh ! no       say He  
                                                 that just wouldn't do  ?would it   !!        well hear this    He say 
! And how PHF picks holes in Loyne's tongue-in-cheek description of him as 
a woolyliberalwelchinglibidinouswannabelibertinewellinguplibertarian   evangelist
And as for public Spain, any thought of the lowest age of consent in Europe enabling deviants to 
make hay while the sun shone was ludicrous when a controlling CatholicChurch could keep deviancy 
so well under wraps  .  .  ... by closing its doors on the public and allowing its own perverts 
to make hay where the sun don't shine!

But, in this instance, 
                            Frog's 
                               greenest-guttural gobbingspittle 
                                             was garnished on the cultureless
                                                                  vultures-of-the-gutterpress 
Thus
       alongside The Honesty  of the popularpress, Henry Frog advise that we place, proudly,       precisely
her much-vaunted Integrity
   To this end       He'd say       May ? I present  EXHIBIT ONE     your honour   !
(or, because we're in Spain, more appropriately  EXHIBIT JUAN     perhaps)   :
                                                                                                                                                                           Melen Koynits
  
                    THE  DOC






Thursday, 4 October 2012

                                SIKMENT LOYNE AND PASTOR HENRY FROG  IN CONVERSATION   . . .   STILL

HEN :    (Saturday)  .  .  ( I'm  not sure , actually)  .. . .   . . . .
             (Thursday)   .. .....  Oh yes,  now I'm sure .  . .  
                                      It's the whole thing, you see.   It's not that straightforward.
SIK :   . .  But your story  ..
HEN :  Look! Sik     The story develops thus:  
          The Guardia was fussing around Ms. Koynits,  and fashioning a 'snipping' gesture at the teacher's    
          privates.   They opined  - in incomprehensible Spanish - that  the two runaways were lucky to find 
          themselves in so tolerant a country as TheSouthofSpain,  where any teenager was free to do it 
          with the blessing of Church&State,  within reason.    But not so lucky that they had been stalked 
          through that cold country warmed by its hot sun  by a British settler in Santander  -  the bachelor,
         Gary Lovepat  -  who had pursued them with a passion from pension to pension,  proudly planting
         TheUnionJack  outside every dive in which they fornicated;  precisely to make their  . .  
         . . ..  'goings on'   . .   even more reprehensible,   their crimes that much more unspeakable . *
       ( Well I spoke to them to try to make them see some sense,  !but they told me to fuck off  -  G. Lovepat ,  Farrago Press )
 SIK :   . ... But your story, Hen  .   .   
 HEN :  Well no-one is wholly certain of the exact age difference between Melen and the teacher.
            As stupid as this may sound, some say he looks younger than she;  he might be fresh 
            out of college of course, or a licensed teacher making the most of  dramatic license.
            When asked about her age (1.e.  ?was she above the age of consent )  she appeared
             somewhat withdrawn at first, then giggled nervously, musing whether it was British Law
            or Spanish Law under discussion.  And her natural stutter was evident;  making it hard to tell
            whether she was trying to state her age   or simply feeling the cold.
SIK:   .  .. But your story,  Pastor, doesn't add up ! ...  Well it adds up,  in the manner  maybe  of its
          lunatic logic.    But,  and here's the big butt,  it's fiction,  Frog .  . !..   fabricated   frippery.
         Aside of the fact that, were it true, it would make you a    
         woollyliberalwelchinglibidinouswannabelibertinewellinguplibertarian        evangelist,
         the point is that you've gone and made it up,  aint?you  !  And you simply can't do that,  Henry
         You can't    !!