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Sunday, 20 November 2016


there was this rabbit called   ButtDildo
who had this really nasty habit
of rodgerin' other rabbits afore eatin' 'em
so all the rabbits left in the world
and there weren't so many of them at this point
they got together
to decide
on a common course of action
they agreed
that they'd hide  down these two fuckin' enormous parallel tunnels
so that's what they jolly well did
well one of these tunnels   was  signed   main
and the other  was marked   alternative
and the rabbits  had to choose
which one to go down
well    well    well   95%    95%  of 'em
chose the  main  tunnel
'cept it should of said     mains
fuckin'  S  !  had rubbed off
and  as a result the lead rabbit was well-and-truly fraaazzzled
'cuz they're all in line   givin' it this   givin' it that'
like rabbits
they pass 10,000 volts  from head to butt
while fire     fire
well its KingsCross all over again   innit

well  despite an obvious lack of tube trains

which left 1 in 20 rabbits to face   ButtDildo
oo  oo  oo     decree
that their alternative tunnel
is no longer the fuckin' alternative it used to be

Saturday, 19 November 2016

                                      Pigeon   v   TheSmokin'ButtDildo

 i crawled home 

and opened my door    i seen a sight 
                                   i'd not seen before   
hundred bodies  (or more)  
                           heaped in the porch 
piled high  (up)on   the kitchen floor   
stone cold dead   
i'd be guessin'     ( y'all )  
i had experience in these matters

and then a voice 

clatter out the haze/(morn)       like a street car 
                  in Pittsburgh dawn
                                                                            ! good day to you  fiend
well i'm not standin 
for that kinda foolery   

?who's the hell's are you's     i  bawl

in triple apostrophe

                                                                      me? !  i'm  The SilentButtDeadly        

(he reply)

well quick as sprat 

                  outta                            sprat jar  
 i signify the situation

i ask who y'are

whadd'ya smoke for purposes of revelation
my brain was workin' overtime
                                                          he wasn't
                          over    time             he wasn't

quick as sprog

                        outta test tube
  i sposed he'd been in the nest with my bird
  he had gills writ
                                         all over his   os
  danglin' bits of bird wattle      daubed
i fulminated
he fumigated
                            our paths were destined  to rhyme

                                                                                             ?    do you recognise her   

 he enquire                     later 
with an air of menace
mmm  legs tied together  
nothin' strange there
visage bear pained expression
a face worse than death at  best of times
now death  itself  has spoke(n)
one space bar too many
one full stop      too     soon
     shit      i muse             what ! a mess

i know my bird.

                              i crawl over bodies
to gently stroke her ringed neck
                          old habits die hard.
  i unclip the ring
    slip it into her pocket

                                                                                                       vermin     !

                                                         ( declare       The SBD )                       
  !damn            he know everythin' about her  

butt    ?!  how

                                                                             ?y'mean how? she fly off her mortal coil
                                                                                   how did this happen 
                                                                                well          i'm afraid
                                                       your bird is responsible for this tragedy
he murmur
                                                               she appear to be guilty
                                                                                           guilty of     fatricide

so he fill me in :   

fatricide  be when fat pigeon
                        kill fat pigeon                              /                fatpigeonkillfatpigeon
ears deceivin'
eyes a-streamin',  throat a-burnin'
body convulsin'
before i can get too carried away
he is interjectin' :
                                                                             it goes down as     homingcide
 'death by homing pigeon'                          !
                                            ?butt  / why?
                                                                                    your bird was a known informer , 
                                                                                                she led them all into a trap.
!visions i'm havin'
of my traplullin'stoolpigeon
                                    shoppin' her friends
          information fuktrippin' 
                                off her tongue 
   like  water   off  a   dove's  back

     so that's why they called her ! 'Nark'

                                                                                                        !   no    
                                                                               'nark'  be also short for   narkotiks

i learn about that fateful day

in the hood,
pigeons linin' rooftops,
kids queuin' on ladders
awaitin' supplies.

my double-dealin' bird.                                                       /               double-dealin' bird

she nark friends into perm(anent) sleep

then,                     with gentle iro(ny),
do (the) same  to   herself.

that night,  they talk down the hood:

               and  a  tale/tail    of       mass                                       cooeycide

i anaesthetise  me with licker,
                                             i  cry  me to sleep.    /         cry me to sleep

no shame there.



key to trauma obfuscation
locked thinking
freed imagination

did i say that  did i really say that
did you really say that

you paid me well
well paid me what you had/could
the well-off gave me their wad

gave you their load
we all gave you our load Sik
and you was on a roll (with it)

i was on a roll  Kol  innit
I was Don Juan               done

i was done   fucking done
different time place class condition
Don Logan

fucked me up the ass
i didn't touch you
fucked me up the ass with your words

your a sadfuk   Sik

careful  Kol   lest overtone synonym
i am you and what i see is me
((the)Floyd : Echoes : Live at Pompeii  )

pompous shit
o   lol
dumbass cunt        how random internet wars amuse

lol   shitcunt
my babygirls  dead    o how

knifed last nite      o i see  hmmm

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

    ( ? )             
    W W Y 
         T N T O F B T S B( - )D

As parrotyscissorbeaksuperMoon loom and assume visible nay/nee dirigible, Justine et moi open our option of !phwaah : To plague the lunarticspoondoggers snakin' trucks up mountin' tracks to have cuzzsex in the company of omniscient orb; or to recline in a seabound diner where best define the silver stalking the river, whilst at same time find a TV screen fleeting between a Bonobo Ape's genitalshakes and a chatshowhost whining how a Parasite has wormed its way into the american electoral state.  

Ever desiring to preserve pure democracy, Justine and I side with the minority decision in a vote of two, opt for risk, settle in with Moony, Bony, Pary, settle for awestruckness or, strictly, less unstuckness as I whisper into J's orifice  this : 

the cheese yield is about to hit the stars, 

the Bonobo's butt about to hit the spot, 
and the parasite about to hit   the hicks, 
the hucksters, the horde of hustlers  hugging the hustings 
in a concertedpushing,    conceited-concealing, 
effectively fucking up thefreeworld           .


Justine's response is unsettling unexpected,
noting that she 

hasn't hit any cheese since the run on the greek goats in september, hasn't hit any Bonobo since U2 run out of ideas after october, 

and hasn't hit any Parasite since she run into a lone-shark at a bingo-meat in november. 

Whereas I  with characteristic candour  suggest our shaky demeanour be the result of the media lumping the Parasite with the initials DT  which, in all Learned gravity, might, just might, summon up an unsumptuous intensity of DaveleeTravis.  

Here my girl feel dutybound to infer that I 

be brewin' up more bother than a bathbrothel in a bothy, 

and she shift my gaze to the TV where Bonobo pontificate that we put our faith in human grace  NOT human race  adding in scrawlyshitpiss a message to the pack that we,!we don't know jack, signing off this pseudophilic epigram with its entitled akronym

Well   J  being  J   

parlay with me/mae  in that flakeydebatey way with which she/shae  be  sooooo   au-fait/fay    

!No(h) way(e)      she/shae say(e)   !No(h) way(e)   

all smilay-laffay

proceeding thence to whisper into my orifice :

?!Where Were You The Night That Old Fart Became The Supreme Butt(-)Dildo  !   ?

Whereas I/aye  with characteristic clarity/eh   

saddle up like a  bathbrothel in a bothy, unflapping my flies, 
and aiming into my woman's broth. 
I locate her soupcoarse with a soupcon of sublimity.  
At which point the patrons of the establishment feel it their duty/eh to call the police who read me my rights/writes/rites without whim   butt  with their very own akronym :
      u r b d   4   p  t  c  o  J
     u r being done   4    perverting the course of Justine

It is here that I begin to recount to the police a litany of lifelong grimes and misdemeanours for which I am (w)hol(l)y responsible.

When I'm finished the officers of the law make due respond:

Of course if what your ownin' up to has any truth in it

you'll be lookin' at a pretty fair time inside
and from the looks of you that aint gonna to be the most comfortable of rides  if you get me drift

?Could you be more precise   I interject

Well  boyishgoodlooks will certainly get you    noticed 

Yes but how long   I butt in   is   a pretty fair time  ? ? 

I mean are we talkin'  a full presidential term here  or  what

A scratch of the head   paws to consider   then an answer:  

Mmhmm id say at least one term, maybe two at a stretch   butt I come back to what I've just said   it aint goin' to be no picnic  boy
you think carefully before you own up to stuff   !!  I mean  

Two terms   I reiterate   

you say I could be inside for  TWO presidential terms   
so yeah  what I owned up to is all true,
wholly true     
And I give myself up to you right now

    taken from

           ?      Where Were You The Night That Old Fart Became The Supreme Butt(-)Dildo
                                                                                          PoohPooh&Grubb (pub.)  



                                                                   HIGHER  GUNSLINGER

        cocky  pres  catch  crow

                                              pluck  last  pair  off  tree


                                                                 and                               then     take    one     of      them                 out


                                                                                                         ?Ysit Oke 'n Elm  /
                          MinneyKlosetEnnymi       /
                                                                                                                                    Ye Kil Monnste                             
                                                                                                                                                                 YE  MEN  IN  KOLTS 


                                                                           the  end  of   (T)reason

! ? QUANTO  ESSEK      ENDO  MUNDUK     ?    !


   kolee ?ynnit (MS.)     
   diznee raskal
   sien komently     
   donny darko
   kloset ennymi/kloset minney
   davyd plesseks
   brijit jones