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Thursday, 26 July 2012

                              f.a.o.   bradley woggins


deer mr woggins
first of all. well dun! for your epik biking victory in france
I personaly aint bin so exited since that black hunky dood
won   !BritainsGotJesus   thanks to ANDY LOYD WEBER
votin 'im thro - and spareing us all a big legal bill in the prosess !!


i must say i was a bit ?surprised ! by the nation of your sucsess .. .
your up for the nobell Prize  ?!yeah   yet there you were ridin thro all them
kobelld streets at some godforsuck hour ringin yer bell like a good'un ! ..
! and wakin all them ardworking frenchies up .. 
even that John claud-salo geezer from  arras   i'll b bound   oo run off without 
payin me no mayntenance and wiv all me charlesAznavoys 78's too           !!
brad -  shame on YOU!                ( !LOL! )         
                                                                                     ...       2 b c . . 
                                                                                                                      KOLEE ?YNNIT (MS)

Friday, 20 July 2012



fans of  Fung Lam
                fling Modernist Hamonics
                                          at Vegetarian Man
Lyk'em in Notes
Meety 'n Nokils

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Orbison Morbidson
                                  Dying frOm   The Big O ,
      kOO Opts fOr bed,    tO dream
                                                Of tragic beauty.
    kOO,   darkness will be yOurs.
             ThOugh yOu'll nOd tO the crOwd,
                                           mOvement will be pOOr.
       ! O ,  yOur mOuth,   puppet-sweet,
    will bubble blOw sOunds  !  !     wOw
                            sOunds Of gOd  and  beast.
Can ? yOu live with that,  kOO
                            I demand.            kOO expand :
                                      I can, dOc !? Can yOu


   THE DOC


Sunday, 15 July 2012

JA !  DANKE     JURGEN
                                      Alice Carr
oh !  aah     ?OK
                                   alles Kar ?
                                              J
JK 
Weve had luck at the work sending to you, and it would appear there was a bit unseemly pasages, 
nay even the unmanly moments
Ah well, 'appen shit !!
with trust it can only get butter in things.   take a brow now and see if you think it
Marj simpson / jean hackman
GooglytrainsSquad


Juergen amorphous
Thank you! Quotation
I! Far fewer songs. Car, a provider of foreclosure, Sorry!
Poor accountability and Koo.
Exposure SchlieBlichKoo scene! The typical offer for sale, works, and I came to the Prophet.
- The use of knowledge in knitting for the war
He was buried in darkness. ! (Consultation)
No body! Evidence (even, but not YouTube)
There, Maria May, when can I say? Aberman mussmir target
I Weaver, בסקריפטוריום Juergen cm at a distance? I represented the Church of Santa Maria
His mother, president Heber, jump, I always jump.
However, a nurse, less salt, making them first!
OneStopShop : long neck.
Scio, rather than 70. At the same
This issue may occur to my Creator? If I wanted to Friend
When I say that especially dear / beloved.

                                                                                                                AC




               Giromancing
The card read : !Giromancing is not Dead
The flowers looked healthy, it must be said,
Yellow daffodils not yet faded,
Perfect but for the plastic that had melted
In the extreme heat of a one-bar fire ;
Not very electrocute   but all they could perspire      to.
They were lovers (it was true)
Though it had taken a while to come through.
In the YOP Scheme of Things it seemed an age,
Like the time from signing on       to the time you get paid.
'Twil be called   TheGiromanceOfTheCentury ;
She was YTS but he was definitely CP   (at least prospectively.)
It's hard to remember who picked up whom,
Who picked up what   in which or what room,
For in the heat of it all things become blurred;
As blankets are ruffled emotions are stirred   into action speak louder than words.
Eyes meet across the wardrobe, hands across the ceiling
Touch lightly,  fingertipping
A hold
And screaming out : Don't drop the bleedin' thing on me toes!
And then a pause
                                   Followed by a chest of drawers.
Beware! those blacksilkstockings falling loose
You creatures of co-habit, daring your noose.
'Til all is made safe
For  The Inspector of Disgrace
To make that dreaded, early call
With a doleful knock at the door.
And,  for appearance's sake,
One shared life is allowed to break     (!but NOT to break up)
                            Sep a rate                         but not lured away
Into any false sense of socialsecurity.
With nose frustrated
The Keyhole Man  leaves our  giromancers  elated,
Happy in their bed
To conceive their next  giro  cheque.
                                                                        Ye Meltinn Sok
                                                                               Me in YTS Klone






Saturday, 14 July 2012

               BeWhere?    Saturday 14th


               She who walk   under ladders
   need to buy Him
                       pair of fishnet stockings


       NOSTLIKEYMEN 


Friday, 13 July 2012

       Rebuilding has knock-up effects : Ode to a hapless Doc
   
  A blurred summer                                                    ( !Brrrr  )
   bring laser eye                                 and IKEA
                                          instruction guides                    ( Grrr! )


          K  /  EYESKINN MOLT
      ode to a headless pigeon
Because my eyes weren't 2 sharp
        I went 2 see
                                       a laser eye surgeon.
Because my eyes weren't 2 sharp      
        I went 2 see
                                        a lazy eye surgeon.
Who came 2 work    hardly  ever
                                                          and
performed tasks with a    lazy    eye.
My eyes are still shot !
                                                          but
my nipples see     with the clarity   of   a             thousand sons.
            
          THE DOC / Eyeskinn Molt
                             seatofthepantsski                      
    johnterryski             chelski              whiteski
                                   mafioski
                               lawisanassski

 Arthur Askey                       Motsyn-Lineke/Lineke-Motsyn

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

 horse    
horse for sale : gate sign
  call  088698
             36109
                      so i ring the line.
                               horse reply.     ?why the wrong race
                                              i croak     horsey mine/mien !
                                    NOSEKYLT MINE
                                                                                               


Jürgen love
If this is not my fault, I tell you! Aberman mussmir confidence

Madam, beheadings hop socialist nanny, you can always call me to skip
However, the nanny, skip hop, they are to achieve!
OneStopShop: Madame beheadings
I know that this is not the 70. To the world
Words for me as an artist is enough? If enough like me
It is, in fact, I really want to say is /.
And Sinsereli, your Yours (drilling)
H (J)
Continue the M '' of '"Knockin' Spears: PS!

Mussmir




         ユルゲン·愛
ありがとうございました!あなたの答えをありがとうございます
I!たくさん劣ら詩。私は車については非常に申し訳ありませんが、それが起こる!
私の障害は、Kuの責任を負いませんではありません。
パフォーマー死んSchlieBlichKoo!としばらくの間、広告に取り組んでおり、一日の終わりに行くされます。
- 私はこのキャンペーンのメンバーで、編み物の実装でした知っている - 
海に埋葬。 ... (参照するには)
ないボディがありませんでした!示唆する証拠(!さえ、YouTubeではありません)
これは私のせいではない場合、私はあなたを教えて!自信Aberman mussmir
ユルゲン·欠席を見て、私はウィーバーじゃない! 1は、ノートルダムの編み物を表すものではありません!
マダムは、乳母ホップbeheadingsの社会主義は、常に私がスキップするように呼び出すことができます
しかし、乳母、スキップホップ、彼らは達成することです!
OneStopShop:マダムbeheadings
私はこれが70ではないことを知っています。世界へ
アーティストとしての私のための言葉は十分ですか?私のような十分な場合
それは、実際には、私が言いたい本当に/です。
あなたのSinsereli、とユアーズ(穴あけ)
H(J)
PS: "ノッキン·スピアーズ 'の' M 'を続ける!
                                                                          hop this help
                                                                          anyhoo
                                                                         try her ! for  sighs
                                                                                                     ABERMAN
                                                                                                                                     googletrans



! AAAH OK
                        ALLES  KAR !
JK









Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Herr Klinsman
Her is good translation in england for your german letter we sent to you.
Him is good for you understand and hoping your okay now!

Batter   Barton
ThegoogletranslatorSquad


લવ જુર્ગેનઆભાર! તમે તમારા જવાબ માટે તમારો આભાર.
હું છું! જો તમે કવિતા પ્રેમ કરવા તૈયાર નથી.
જ્યારે વસ્તુઓ તમારી કાર છે, હું ખરેખર દિલગીર શકશો! તે થાય!
લાઇન માટે જવાબદાર છે તે સંપૂર્ણપણે મારી ભૂલ નથી છે.
મૃત્યુ ગાય! બધા પછી, વાક્ય ભૂતકાળમાં રાખવામાં આવી હતી
- હું knitting પર ચાલે છે, તમને ખબર છે કે -
અને સમુદ્ર માં દફનાવવામાં આવ્યો હતો. ...
ત્યાં છે ન કોઈ શરીર! (યુ ટ્યુબ પર વિના દેખાતું નથી), કોઈ પુરાવા અસ્તિત્વમાં છે.
કોઈ કરવો છે, પરંતુ મને વિશ્વાસ છે, તો તમે મારા માટે શું કહેવું?
હું Nutter, જુર્ગન વેબ knitting નથી જોવા નથી!
શબ્દો ઓછા તમે મારા શ્રીમતી ફોન કરી શકો છો વિનિમય
જો કે, "વિનિમય વિનિમય મેટ્રન," જે પહોંચી ગયેલ છે! Onestopshop
હું 1970 માતાનો હતી, જેમાંથી કેટલીક વિશ્વના કે ન હોય
હું નથી પૂરતી છે, જેમ કે કલાકારો સાથે વાત કરવાની જરૂર શા માટે છે?
મને લાગે છે કે ખરેખર અર્થ એ થાય કે તમે કહી છે.
આપની તમારી,
ટી (j)
પાસ: 'રમતો માલિક સાથે કૃપા કરી!



                     I know I was a member of the campaign, the execution of knitting.
                     He was buried in the sea. ...  (so let's see.)
                     There was no body!  There is no evidence notes (! Not even on YouTube)
                     If this is not my fault, I'll tell you!  Trust  Aberman Mussmir.
                              Aberman Mussmir
                   

           FAO  :    H (J) 
                                       ( Blatter Barton -                                      
                                            Googletranslatorsquad )

                              ?
           K
Dear friend
Please ?! would you be so kind as to provide an accurate German translation of the enclosed letter
(in English) which is intended for JurgenKlinsman.
Many thanks
Hackman (Jean) 
                               Dear Jurgen

                                             Thank ! you for your response.
                               I'm !delighted you loved the poem.
                               I'm really sorry about your car, but these things happen !!
                               It's not my fault at all, and Koo is not responsible either.
                               Koo is dead! after all     Koo was beheaded some time ago
                                - I know, I was knitting at the execution -
                              and was buried at sea. .. .
                              There is no body !!  There is no evidence  (not even on  YouTube!)
                              That's not my fault; but you just have to trust me !
                              You see, I'm a knitter, Jurgen, NOT a nutter !!
                                             Madame Chop-Chop  they might call me, 
                              but this 'Madame Chop-Chop' has reached her ! OneStopShop
                              I know this isn't the '70's, but what is the world coming to
                              when the word of an artist such as myself does not suffice ?
                              I mean to say, really.
                              Best regards
                              H (J)
                              PS:  Keep knockin' 'em in for The Spurs  !






Dear Hackman Jean
Please find provide a translation in your letter as accurate as you may have.
Most regards
S Blatter / J Barton
Head of Googletranslatorsquad
The Olympic Teepee 
TowerOfLondon
                                      Jurgen liebe
                     Vielen Dank ! Danke für Antwort ihre
                    Ich! Es war ein gutes Gedicht ist wie eine Menge. Ich bedaure sehr, über das Auto, es passiert!
                    Nicht meine Schuld ist nicht haftbar zu Koo.

                    Darsteller ist tot-SchlieBlichKoo!  Die Arbeit wird auf ad vor einiger Zeit und schließlich gehen
                    - Ich weiß, ich war damals Mitglied der Kampagne, der Hinrichtung Stricken -
                    Er wurde im Meer bestattet. ...(auf see)
                    Es gab keinen Körper! Es gibt keine Beweise-hinweise  (!Auch auf  nicht YouTube)
                    Ist nicht das meine Schuld, ich werde Ihnen sagen!aberman mussmir vertrauen 
                   Schauen Sie, ich bin nicht  Weaver, verpasste Jürgen ! ein Strickerin NICHT ein  Nutter  !!
                   Matron-Hop ist  madame hopp,  hopp si kann man immer rufen Sie mich zu überspringen
                   Allerdings ist die Matrone, der Hopfen überspringen, sind sie zu erreichen! 
                   OneStopShop : Madame Chop-Chop
                   Ich weiß, das ist nicht The 70's, ?die Welt um zu
                  Worte für mich als Künstler ist genug? wenn wie mich ausreicht
                   Es ist in der Tat; will damit sagen / wirklich
                  Sinsereli von euch, Mit freundlichen (GruBen)                  
                   H (J)
                   PS : ! Halten Sie Knockin "Em In" fur die 'Spurs'!





Saturday, 7 July 2012

Dear Jean Hackman    /     Toye Klinsmen
Thank you for the poem. 
It was very interesting.


  
    sik Tinklemoneys  EY  kleenot
               JurgenKlinsman  miket ot    Livingwellmews
   kisi   ym  eson     ym   eson                     ym   eson    !


J(K)
                     Klinsman  III
We'd perform highlights from     Romeo and Juliet
to no-one   in particular         in particular
We'd do  45 shows on the trot ;  
me as   Mercutio
and Jurgen as    Romeo   Romeo     !O Romeo
And then we'd change round
just so I could whisper into his ear . . .. 
Oh noble  Klins man !!
Mind you, if ever our performances
took an unexpected        dive ! dive ! nosedive !
                                  I'd sell him
Though I might not get a lot back
for a  hasbeenham    hasbeenham   like Jurgen
But I'd hang onto his car  though
'cos they're dead reliable      ?aren't they
                                                       the Volkswagen
Jean Hackman 
            Toye Klinsmen

Friday, 6 July 2012

               klinsman II
            I'd have to shell out a lot of money for Jurgen
                             clear out the back shed to store his Volkswagen Beetle
and I'd lock up my powerhouse in the back room
                           'cos they'd never think to look there for him
       those      nosey      nosey         people     people                   people
                        KLINSMAN   (1)
If I won the Lottery I'd get Jurgen Klinsman to LivingwellMews
which is      My House       My House      My House
I'd shack up with him, have his children and call them all
        Rouse        Rouse       StanleyRouse StanleyRouse
 
I'd have to keep an eye on him 'cos Jurgen   he's prone,
prone  to making impromptu exits    impromptu exits 
to fleeing the battleground and heading for open spaces
that agrophobic                   agrophobic
Ya see fighting is in his blood according to
my stepdad's      step      step       stepdad
He should know    He caters for The Army

in  MunchingGladbach             Munching      Gladbach




Dear Mr Klinsman


Thank you for your interest and glad you liked the book !


I am intending to send a detailed response to you - !and am working on it at the very mo - 
but I'm just getting it absolutely right before I mail it.
In the meantime, please enjoy the poem written in your honour !


Best wishes

Jean Hackman
Dear Ms. Hackman


Thanks for the copy of   KnitOnePurl&Dean.
It was most interesting.
I am writing to you now on a rather personal matter.Some days ago, I had parked my newly-valeted  Volkswagen outside
the MatchOfTheDay studios in ThePolandandUkraine (sic).
When I went to collect it after a very heated debate over (Wayne) Rooney,
I was left sickened by what I discovered.
The windscreen of my car was smeared in what can only truly be described as
 shit .    Gary (Lineker) denied any personal involvement, but did say he'd noticed
a  ..    headless bird  ..  knocking about . . on the roof . . 
Initially he thought it was a   headless chicken   but (Emile) Heskey was somewhere
else at the time, apparently.
Anyhoo,  it transpired the  headless bird was a headless pigeon (sic.)
The lads discussed this back in the studio and LawroHansen suggested that I
should contact you as you might be able to shed light on all of this hoo-hah ?


I await your response with some interest.
Yours in anticipation


Jurgen Klinsman
                                                 PIGEON III
Eventually I plucked up the courage to ask him the question which had been on my mind for some time:
? How
You mean how did she come to fly off her mortal coil and how did all of this happen?
!Yeah

I'm afraid your bird is responsible for this tragedy. She appear to be guilty of  fatricide.
Well, he told me that  fatricide  was when one fat pigeon kills another fat pigeon.
I couldn't believe my ears. My eyes were streamin, my whole body convulsin,
but before I could get carried away he had interjected : 

Officially, it will go down as  homingcide.
Yeah, death by homing pigeon of course, but why?
Your bird was a known informer. She led them all into a trap.

Well, I had visions of my stool pigeon shoppin all of her friends, information trippin off her tongue
like water off a dove's back. So that's why they called her  ! Nark
Not exactly!  exclaimed Rufus,  Nark  was also short for  Narkotics.

And so I learned that my bird had been double-dealin.
On the day of the Tragedy, all the neighbourhood pigeons were lined up on the rooftop
waiting for their supply;  and all the neighbourhood kids were queueing on the ladder.

My bird  narkotised her friends into permanent sleep and then, with gentle irony, did the same to herself.
That night the talk was of pigeons and a tail of   mass cooeycide
Well, I anaesthetised myself with alcohol and cried myself to sleep.  Yeah,  no shame there.
                                                                                                                 SL / TLS

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

               Pigeon II
? Do you recognise her      he enquired with an air of menace.
Well, her legs had been tied together - nothing strange there! - 
and her visage bore a pained expression. Again, she had a face worse
than death at the best of times, but now Death itself had spoken:
One spacebar too many; one full stop   too   .   soon  
 .   Shit   I mused, observing the mess around me    and yeah
I do recognise her!that's my bird
I crawled over the other bodies and gently stroked her ringed neck
(old habits die hard). I unfastened the ring and casually slipped it
into my pocket.
Vermin!  declared Rufus. !Damn He seemed to know everything about her.
                                                   SL / TLS
                                                                                                                                                 Hands across the C
When McGuinness shook hands with Liz                                                                                         
                                                                                           there was fingerblood ;                        
                                                            Liz   was gloveless
            SYMON KLEENIT
                STEELY MONNIK

Monday, 2 July 2012

   ! DER
                        footy on the tele
                                                       ? no Balotelli 
                                                                                   damn  that  bally  tele !
     
            benito muscle-weeny




  
                        !RED DER!  (WELL YELLOWER) /  where a simile is literally like a smile

       Paint my house in colours of Spain.
                                                                             So 
                                                               watching Spain    like watching Spain dry.
                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               TRAD
                                                                                        


                                                                  
           
                                            PIGEON  I
Yeah, I crawled home the other night and opened up my door.  My eyes were greeted by a sight I hadn't seen before:
A heap of bodies, I'd say a hundred or more, strewn along the vestibule and piled up on my kitchen floor;
stone-cold dead I guessed, I had experience in these matters.
And then a voice spoke to me, clatterin outa the haze like a streetcar in a Pittsburgh dawn.
'!Good day to you fiend'.   Well, I wasn't standin for that kinda foolery.
'Who the hell d'you think YOU are?!'I bawled, with an "intensity" that come from usin a double apostrophe.
'I'm Rufus !',  he replied.  
Quick as a sprat out of a   sprat jar, I identified the situation.  
I asked  'who the hell are ya?, NOT whaddya smoke for purposes of recreation'.
'I'm Rufus!!',  he emphasised.  Well, I flew straight back at him. '!You don't have to get on ya high horse with me, pal !'
My brain was workin overtime   and he wasn't.  I'd already lapped his one brain cell at least one zillion times before collidin
with it on my return journey from Planet Zyz.   So far away from his understandin' it's not worth a mention in TheOxfordEnglishDic.
Quick as a sprog out of a test tube I supposed he'd been in the nest with my bird.  He had gills written all over his  os
(!excuse the zyzian reference)   He  had  gills  written  all  over  his   os :  Danglin bits of bird wattle daubed all over his . . 
I fulminated, he fumigated, our paths were destined to rhyme.
                                                                                                             SMOKEY LINNET
                                                                                                             TOM LEE SKINNY

Sunday, 1 July 2012

The BBC, in a vain bid to improve their tennis coverage, have eventually found a news item about Wimbledon
that is faintly interesting, and have finally managed to track down someone prepared to talk about it to someone
else who really has little choice but to talk about it . . ...
Max Robertson meets Smokey Linnet,  a spokesperson for the pressure group   Pigeon B wot Pigeon B :
SMOKEY: Look, Max, I'm not saying we've got the Wimbledon hawk, whom you all know as Rufus, 
             or that we had anything to do with its capture of course. However it's just possible that we might  
             know of its whereabouts now.
MAX :        ? Can you at least assure us that no harm has come to Rufus, or is likely to ?   
SMOKEY: Put it this way.  It aint goin' to be scarin' no pigeons any time soon!    .. .. (laughs)   . .
                No, it's fine, really.   !Alive and ticking, so to speak.   . (laughs) .    No, I jest.  Don't worry!, it's not
            going back to Wimbledon concealing a bomb !!   . .  (laughs)  .. That was just tabloid hoo-hah really.
MAX :    Of course, you won't dispute that you're not being fair to Rufus or his owners.  Some would say
            downright cruel indeed. . .  (emotional)  ..  'hawkist' , let's say ..  (still emotional)   anti-environmental even.
SMOKEY: Oh, come on Max!  The hawk was taken from a cage in a hot car . ..
            So, let's talk about cruelty, shall we ?
MAX :     (shifting)    So could we clarify please just what it is you stand for in  Pigeon B ?
SMOKEY: Well  Pigeon B wot Pigeon B  started out as  Pigeon A ...  of course. 
                Then we lost  Pigeon A.   To one of Rufus' bloody mates, no doubt. ..     (interrupted)
MAX :  (interrupting)  .. But we all know  PBwPB is merely a front for  Pigeons4Pigeons, or  P4P.
SMOKEY: Look, we've always been very clear to distance ourselves from the so-called  P4P.
          We're not into discrimination based on the colour of a bird.
MAX :    So the fact that you took ..  (stops)  ..  that the bird in question, Rufus, is of brown skin .. (interrupted)
SMOKEY: (interrupting / sharply)  . . NO !! NO  I must stop you there ! It's brown feathers actually, not skin 
MAX :    Okay, the point is it's brown...  You didn't  . .  (stops) ..   it's not a white bird that's been taken, is it?!
SMOKEY: So what you're saying, Max, if I've got this right, is we wouldn't have a problem if the Wimbledon
             patroller had been a white bird  !?
MAX :   (hesitant)  Well ..  er .. yes,  I suppose ..
SMOKEY: (quickly)   Like a DOVE for example.
MAX :  What?
SMOKEY:(precise) Let's imagine for a moment,?shall we,that a dove had been the patrolling bird
           at Wimbledon
MAX :  (hesitant)  ! No   . . well .. er .. yes ..   I mean hypo . . (interrupted)
SMOKEY: (interrupting / quick) .. That's fine then.       If the bird's a dove   . .   (emphatic)  absolutely 
                 no    problem    at     all !




          
RED!                        
                       if Balotelli see red                                                                
                                                        that might mean         bare  chest
                                                                                       early  bath          and  bed ! !
     Benito Muscle-Weeny