Koo enters, brandishing today's copy of  HOL !Y SKUNK
KOO:  frantic  It's just a front page ! Look    shaking  There are no inside pages !!
DOC:  Hmm.. . I see
KOO:  Do you think this may have something to do with  The Leveson Inquiry ?
DOC:  ?What do you reckon
KOO:  I can't say.
DOC:  No. Neither can I.

                            HOL !Y  SKUNK

             !JUMPERS CREEPERS!
   
    Tragedy at Kelostemy Inn !
                                                      Jean Hackman reveals all
            Full story on inside pages . . .

the personality russell brand talks to MPs and keith vaz about the infinity of Time and other such fripperies
              Time's infinite!,       mate
   or                   Time's infinite mate.             ! wait
 no Time . ....  no brand.                     great !
                                                                                KENSON TIMELY

the royal we regard wind farms as a right old wheeze
    fans of the queen
       blow hot              blow hot
            at her 82nd birthday slot:
                                                                                  she is in a good state      they claim
but the royal Estate               
  cold blow               cold blow
on the wind farms' futures' show:              
                                                                      they're bad  ! they're sad !  they're mad       it maintain
yet that same estate
now not make that insane mistake:
                  to slate wind farms
                                                                          ?slate wind farms     no ! site wind farms! . . wealth flow
so let them All  
belch fart guffaw melch nark raw and snaw 
   their royal gaw  
                                                                                 they coin it so             as wind doth blow 
                                                                                                                                                        YON MESE KLINT
   
                                                                                         

Far from jumping on the  anti-Pastor bandwagon, I would like to clarify first and foremost that when 
I began the interview with PHF I was prepared to go along with all the hype that surrounded him:  
That of    the big kajones in the hole kaboodle.
It was only as we talked that I suspected he wasn't all he was cracked up to be.
I specifically asked him how he intended to stave off  The End Of The World  later this year.
He was unable to give me a satisfactory answer.
I can't say I wasn't disappointed.
                            Kim Slontynee, The Toady Programme, BBC Radio 4

Look,! Kim, let me say here and now that I reject racism in all its guises.
And that goes for the FA too for sure.
That they extended my contract as England supremo says so much 
about their faith in me as the right man for the job.
There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that their decision carried 
any kind of racial slant . . .   
I mean for God's sake, !how bloody stupid ...?? they put a Frog in charge didn't they
       Pastor Henry Frog talking earlier on  The Toady Programme,  BBC Radio 4

?  The Mosley triplets?
I find that extremely hard to believe.
A good six years separate the births of Kenni T,  Nek-Nit  & Kitenn Mosley.
                                          Jed Croaker

!Hitler Had More Balls Than You And/Or I   ??
        ! We find that extremely hard to believe 
        A National Socialist mag. would not carry such ambiguity!!
                                                                                                               The Mosley triplets

                                            HOL Y ! SKUNK
   Frogspook !
 .Pastor Henry Frog owns up to dodg y!past:
    F: Yes, me and Nick Griffin used to trade Nazi memorabilia in 
                 Croydon market - where we'd distribute the magazine:
           !Hitler Had More Balls Than You And/Or I 
   . FA extend Frog's contract:

a general response to a shocking rise in the price of postage stamps


anger         anger       stamps
                                             in anger       stamps   stamps  stamps stamps
                       stampsstampsstamps                                                              no  stamps

                                                                                                       Miko Sentynel       

                                                                                         The Day of Culturevulture
        watched a whole series of   Game of Thrones.
                                                                                                    ate a rancid partridge.
                                                                                                                                         threw up.
                                                              MOLTENENY SIK

      The history of The National is the history of us all
McCoy        Nicholls                           greys
                        sequences   break                        as    do      banks
                                  and    legsof         horses
      TINKLEMONEYS
        NESTLIN E. MkOY


                                                       WE WOZ ROBBED!, 'ARRY   
with the advent of           goal-line technology    they    !       invent a goal-line 
                                Motsyn-Lineke 
                                                       / Lineke-Motsyn

       ?Be where ! the I'ds of April
                                  I'd have given you  all,    more
                                                                     said April
                     if your eyes did me adore
                                                     NOSTLIKEYMEN


   
  the multiple-ego guy was never great at D.I.Y  (?was he)
                                              I'd have given    wood       nails         saw
                                                                     said April
                     if your I's did me a door
                                                         Ysit Okennelm
                                                         Tiny Klonesme

                                                                                April advance  still      wind chill
       The Big Sea
KOO: So, Doc, ?you read my response to TheBigSea.
DOC: Yes.  Bit angry, were you not?
KOO: The point is, I understood they were offering me  Immunity..
         then I find they're not.  That's most disheartening.
DOC: That's as maybe, but is it good cause to sue them?
KOO: People have sued for far less. . . Nick Griffin springs to mind.
DOC:  And how? successful was Griffin, Koo ..
KOO:  He brought the BNP to its knees, which be success enough. 
DOC:  !Ah, yes.  The case of Griffin v Stobart, I seem to recall. 
         Nick was up in arms that a Stobart wagon had delivered him a
         truckful of anti-aging cream.  
KOO:  Well, he'd ordered  anti-asian cream, so you can see his point.
DOC:  Though you won't accept TheBigSea's position in your matter?
KOO:  Sertinly ! not

                                                                               advancing April  further . .
                                                             THE BIG SEA
Took Doc's advice on board.
                                                                                  Ignored it.


Had  a bone to pick  with the cancer charity. 
                                                                                 Picked it.                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                         K





                                    

                                                                                                       advancing april
                                                                  the big sea
return after being away for a bit.  
   only one letter await,  from the cancer charity   the big sea. 
                letter awash with attitude      latitude     platitude
                                  and gratitude.


the charity was very thankful for my gift to them:  an  elkie brooks hand-knit, 
personally signed by jed croaker  and  pastor henry frog.
uniquely           precisely           it had pulled the princely price of £111 &11p.
i was somewhat dismayed that such a sum would give some poor soul just  .. . .     6 more seconds ..


be careful of typos or misquotes      speak the doc    i think that should read . .6 more sessions. 
              ( ?6 types of mosquitoes!    shriek i,   arms flailing )


i then asked the doc if i was right ? not to be too euphoric that the charity was able  apparently
to reward my  generosity  with    !! immunity from  The Illness ...
well                       said the doc, sardonically       i wouldn't be jumping up and down too soon.
above all, koo    added the doc                            it's important that you remember your story.

                                                                                       ...   date an(d)on
                                         OPEN LETTER    (to  The Kammerleg) 
   to whom it may concern :
                    if you have spotted  The (Big-eared) GreatBustard,
 then what we are looking at is  The Spotted (Big-eared) GreatBustard,
 which literally ceased to exist many moons ago.
            ! sorry   !!
                                          ONLYNEST/NODDIE

                                                                                       Date TBC . . .
 dear messers  Onlynest & noddy


regarding your aborted mission to catch site of the (big eared) greatBustard .. !  .  . 
      Well,    ! ITS HERE  !!  
                                                  yes !,  we have spotted him
Hesitate not ! To write back for further detales


Yours apreciatively


Dicky Kammerleg
PM

                                                                                         earlier Spring
      !?  Be where, the hides of March ?! 
Better wait than  never  !
Travel through EastAnglian Fens armed with impressive binoculars.
?Why:  To catch a glimpse of the shy and retiring  GreatBustard.
Arrive in market town of March.
No sign ! of  GB.
No sign ! of fuckin' hideouts neither.
Go home to the alms of Melancholy who await with heavy brew.
                                # taken from the diaries of Mike Onlynest and William Noddie:
                          ! why use lots of birds when just One will do?

                                                                                    early spring
                       incarceration
         is a dustcart away  from
                  in-car salvation
                                           Spring-Sprong singalong: Tails from the can
                                          April Spring & Suzee Sprong
             

                    Spring4Sprong
April Spring missed Suzy Sprong with all her heart.
Though they had seen each other rarely since Suzy's incarceration.
So April approached Pastor Henry Frog.
To ask if He would visit her dear friend and show her the forgiveness
that the rest of the world withheld.
Frog agreed to this; He was a prison chaplin.
  The kid (Sprong)  He would confess later   the kid is all wrong .. !
  !    . . .  all wrong 
April Spring would have none of this 
and sprang Suzy Sprong from prison in a stolen dustcart.  

Spring 4


Spring found Frog
      sought Frog's forgiving tongue
             Frog found Sprong all wrong
          Spring sprang Sprong


*extract taken from
  Pastor Henry Frog: ?!Memories of a prison chaplin:
                                Ch 1:  Spring 4 Sprong  !  Frog NOT 4 Sprong
  as published in  
 HOLY!SKUNK