The BBC, in a vain bid to improve their tennis coverage, have eventually found a news item about Wimbledon
that is faintly interesting, and have finally managed to track down someone prepared to talk about it to someone
else who really has little choice but to talk about it . . ...
Max Robertson meets Smokey Linnet,  a spokesperson for the pressure group   Pigeon B wot Pigeon B :
SMOKEY: Look, Max, I'm not saying we've got the Wimbledon hawk, whom you all know as Rufus, 

             or that we had anything to do with its capture of course. However it's just possible that we might  

             know of its whereabouts now.
MAX :        ? Can you at least assure us that no harm has come to Rufus, or is likely to ?   
SMOKEY: Put it this way.  It aint goin' to be scarin' no pigeons any time soon!    .. .. (laughs)   . .
                No, it's fine, really.   !Alive and ticking, so to speak.   . (laughs) .    No, I jest.  Don't worry!, it's not
            going back to Wimbledon concealing a bomb !!   . .  (laughs)  .. That was just tabloid hoo-hah really.
MAX :    Of course, you won't dispute that you're not being fair to Rufus or his owners.  Some would say
            downright cruel indeed. . .  (emotional)  ..  'hawkist' , let's say ..  (still emotional)   anti-environmental even.
SMOKEY: Oh, come on Max!  The hawk was taken from a cage in a hot car . ..
            So, let's talk about cruelty, shall we ?
MAX :     (shifting)    So could we clarify please just what it is you stand for in  Pigeon B ?
SMOKEY: Well  Pigeon B wot Pigeon B  started out as  Pigeon A ...  of course. 
                Then we lost  Pigeon A.   To one of Rufus' bloody mates, no doubt. ..     (interrupted)
MAX :  (interrupting)  .. But we all know  PBwPB is merely a front for  Pigeons4Pigeons, or  P4P.
SMOKEY: Look, we've always been very clear to distance ourselves from the so-called  P4P.
          We're not into discrimination based on the colour of a bird.
MAX :    So the fact that you took ..  (stops)  ..  that the bird in question, Rufus, is of brown skin .. (interrupted)
SMOKEY: (interrupting / sharply)  . . NO !! NO  I must stop you there ! It's brown feathers actually, not skin 
MAX :    Okay, the point is it's brown...  You didn't  . .  (stops) ..   it's not a white bird that's been taken, is it?!
SMOKEY: So what you're saying, Max, if I've got this right, is we wouldn't have a problem if the Wimbledon
             patroller had been a white bird  !?
MAX :   (hesitant)  Well ..  er .. yes,  I suppose ..
SMOKEY: (quickly)   Like a DOVE for example.
MAX :  What?
SMOKEY:(precise) Let's imagine for a moment,?shall we,that a dove had been the patrolling bird
           at Wimbledon
MAX :  (hesitant)  ! No   . . well .. er .. yes ..   I mean hypo . . (interrupted)
SMOKEY: (interrupting / quick) .. That's fine then.       If the bird's a dove   . .   (emphatic)  absolutely 
                 no    problem    at     all !