Dear Ms. Hackman


Thanks for the copy of   KnitOnePurl&Dean.
It was most interesting.
I am writing to you now on a rather personal matter.Some days ago, I had parked my newly-valeted  Volkswagen outside
the MatchOfTheDay studios in ThePolandandUkraine (sic).
When I went to collect it after a very heated debate over (Wayne) Rooney,
I was left sickened by what I discovered.
The windscreen of my car was smeared in what can only truly be described as
 shit .    Gary (Lineker) denied any personal involvement, but did say he'd noticed
a  ..    headless bird  ..  knocking about . . on the roof . . 
Initially he thought it was a   headless chicken   but (Emile) Heskey was somewhere
else at the time, apparently.
Anyhoo,  it transpired the  headless bird was a headless pigeon (sic.)
The lads discussed this back in the studio and LawroHansen suggested that I
should contact you as you might be able to shed light on all of this hoo-hah ?


I await your response with some interest.
Yours in anticipation

Jurgen Klinsman