GARDENERS  WHIRLED
                                                             
                                                                               with   Kolee ?Ynnit  (ms)


  Morning peeps
  !Life's a bit-of-a-twat at times ?innit
  I recently received this correspondence from an unnamed sauce, which i'll share with u:


   
   
   FAO Ms ?Ynnit
 
   I heard recently that Pippa Middlestone had hooked up with some geezer with a ' hedge-fun '
   business. Now I have literally been running  Hedge-Fun-4-U  for a number of years now;
   this is my own brainchild, a concern which has grown steadily.
   As I'm sure you'll be aware, the concept is a simple butt effective one.: we go in to people's gardens    on the premise of manicuring their hedges and, whilst the folk are away, we remove the hedges
   completely and replace them with surprise installations, which have ranged from a rusted-up ice-
   cream truck to a knackered-old horse from the Borisjohnson State Circus. It's all good fun, done  
   with the best of intentions; it ! really is a joy to see the amazement on peoples' faces when they
   return home to see sometimes stately gardens hedge poor yet installation rich
   Of course, the concept only work proper when folk don't know what is coming, so you'll
   understand, Ms.? ?Ynnit, that as we become ever more popular, it becomes harder to find clients  
   who are holy-removed from the whirl of ordinary, daily life.
   So it was with this in mind that I wrote to PippaM, asking her if I could pop round and talk through
   some ideas I've had recently regarding a potential expansion of the business:
   Hedge-Fun-4-U : The-Royal-Oui       !
   I included in the letter the common platitudes, with a suggestion that Pips might want
   to consider 'widening her dating field' , so to speak, to go beyond her current geezer,
   to look for someone who offer 'similar butt better things' ;
   an Original Thinker rather than a !!! PONCING PLAGIARIST
   Her forwarded/four-worded reply, which I enclose for your perusal, flattered me not,
   tho' flattened me  somewhat.
   Tbph, Kolee, since receiving her note, I've felt like I'm in a deep-dark hole.
   A hole on which I may, just may have laid the first tool, but still a hole nonetheless,
   and one in which to all in tents and purposes, I am becoming slowly entombed by the dirt
   from her gentille hands.  !   Please help me  Ms ?Y

  
   Name / Address  held within
  (pls to ignore the faux-p/code on stickyback of envelope )




  
  


  F.A.O.  TWIMC

 
    FUCK ! OFF     FUCK ! !OFF       would have been my guess    tbph
but her literal reply
        !  YOU CANT   
                                    YOU CANT      !
 be a hard pill to swallow.
I mean ffs  this woman must be privately educated ?shirley,

? !  just whats going on with her speling/punctuation     !  eh?



   
      k ?y