TEL INKEST LEMESON - THE LEVESON ENQUIRY
( translated from the original TONIK by KLOSET ENNYMI )
We find the doc seated before the tribunal and in the way of giving evidence :
DOC: .. Yes ... we were talking about the press and ethics, were we not? Okay, so Jean Hackman had ostensibly
organised a night out in Colchester for the Jumpers crew .. it was a bonding thing, y'know .. and Kelostemy Inn
was shut down by Health and Safety .. and Colchester's not a million miles from MK . . Milton Keynes .. ?is it . . .
well, anyhoo Hol y ! Skunk had got . .. .. interrupted
LORD HATCHETT : interrupting I'm really not sure that a night out in Ethics .. I mean Essex .. is any business of this court !
D : Well, funny! you should say that, m' lord .. What if I was to tell you just what Hol y ! Skunk had actually got wind of?
H : Mmmm, go on!
D : Okay.. that the Colchester shindig was a front for a most secret parlay in the castle where a cunning plan would be
hatched which would turn Jumpers upside down .. and inside out .. turning Jumpers into .. !Jumpers! , of course
H : Mmm, of course ! puzzled Go on!, please
D : And that those traumatic events which occurred at The Inn .. D & H together: !Jumpers! ... yes . . ..
. . those events involved underthetablebackhanders, secretmikes, illegaljohns, loose talk typed taped and toped.
Not to mention all the deception surrounding the inspirational use of Tonik .. and of course, THAT film that put
the shits up your lords and ladyships .. !sorry .. I mean gave you all the heebiejeebies
H : !Oh heebyjeebys oh rather ! hah hawhaw ! Oh yes, the one I watched late last night with those little girls in bellboy
uniforms . . yes it was rather .. RATHER!! .. interrupted
D : interrupting quickly NO ! NO I'm referring of course to those terrible and tragic events at Kelostemy Inn.
H : Yes .. Yes, of course you were .. . haha . . lol silence furtive glances quickly Do go on, doc, please ! do go on
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