Loyne:  Kolee, Hi!, it's Sikment... Sikment Loyne...  Look I can't talk too loudly but I need you to do    
            something for me.
?Ynnit: What Sikment?    Sos I'm not earin u 2 well .. what u chattin on?
Loyne:  I'm on a may-bee.
?Ynnit:  ?your on a maybe?    is that like bein on a promise, cept your only on 'alf a promise ?
Loyne:  Funny.   Yes .. no. .  its a new kind of phone.. you'd never believe me if I told you ..
?Ynnit:  oh! a blackberry
Loyne:  Yeah if you like.  Look I need you to vouch for me.  Remember that musical you and your mates went 
            to the other night?  ..  Well, you need to say you saw me there, okay?
?Ynnit:  Oh !yeah . .   what was it again?    summat about a donkey ? wernt it
Loyne:  Its working title was   Ass picks his love  (apparently)  .. a kind of love story about  Dennis and   
             Margaret Hilda Thatcher .. but we know it as   Truly, Maggie ! Deeply   by the WebbingTwins.
?Ynnit:  Oh yeah!,  that was when you said  Thatchers bin done to death  innit  and I said  if only  haha   and 
             it was summat to do with Ali G werent ? it 
Loyne:   I think you mean  alle-gorical, Kolee.   You know how it goes:
Maggie's  happily married and all  but gets it real bad for an Irish Crooner - Pierce  Brosnan -  who's 'doing the 
cruise ships' and they get so distracted by each other that they all get on the wrong boat - Dennnis as well who's now
really jealous-  and they head off mistakenly for The Falklands but wouldn't you know there's a sinister hand at work 
behind the scenes and I don't mean a ship's hand or  Spitting Image  for that matter and Eamon Andrews turns up 
with his big red book to do  This is Your Life  for Mags    and Meryl Streep's invited to pay her respects and that also provides the perfect opportunity for Brosnan's love farrago and to get it on again with Streep for the first time since  MammaMia   which makes Mrs. T really mad but she needn't worry too much because Streep can't make it in person so sends her regards by way of morse code but wouldn't you know the morse code system's a bit shite and the only words that get through are    tone deaf   and   tosspot   and as Brosnan bombs as ship's entertainer  Maggie goes back to her cabin to have the same recurring dream of Dennis dancing on the sea bed with spanish-speaking seamen as The McGarrigles sing  Heart Like A Wheel : . . . . my love for you is like a singing ship
               Well, that's the first couple of minutes taken care of. 
           Look, it's very important that you get the story right, okay?